“It’s nothing really. You’ll probably do better than usual. It’s just most people are kind of sick all the time once they lose their spleens.”
She began to check Charlie’s incisions. Charlie noticed her cringing as she examined her stitches. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s such a shame you’re going to have such terrible scars. I guess you’re lucky Dr. Branson doesn’t care about all these puckered, discolored scars.
Charlie’s heart clenched. She’d been in so much pain, she hadn’t considered having scars. She fought to hold back tears, realizing she would not only be scarred and ugly, but also sickly. Would she even be able to do all the outdoors sports she loved so well? She’d been so certain Josh would eventually love her as much as she loved him. But would he really be able to fall in love with a disfigured weakling? Two years ago, he’d said he loved her. But the girl he’d been attracted to was strong and beautiful. She’d never be the same again.
CHARLIE OPENED HER eyes to find her mother kissing her cheek, her face wet with tears. “Hi, Mom. Don’t cry. You’ll make me cry, too.”
“I can’t help it. That was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced... watching you get hit by that snowboarder. It was even worse than when I lost your dad, because I saw it happening and I couldn’t do anything about it.”
“But I’m okay.” Charlie tried to make her face smile in spite of her pain. “And I don’t remember any of it.”
“Nothing?” asked Steven. “You don’t even remember before it happened?”
“The last thing I remember is Jace jumping. After that, it’s all a blank.”
“I wish I could forget it,” said Steven. “I think I saw it over and over in my dreams last night.”
“How’s Jace? Did he see it happen? Is he traumatized?”
“He’s pretty shaken,” said Anne. “I think he’ll be better after he gets to see you. You look good. How do you feel?”
“Uhmm... fine.” It wouldn’t help her parents to know how badly she was hurting.
“So Charlie, Josh was talking to us about the possibility of you two getting married.” Steven kept his eyes trained on hers, obviously waiting for a reaction. “Don’t you think this is a little sudden? I mean, yesterday he was planning to marry Olivia, and today he’s planning to marry you instead.”
“Yes... Well... We’re in love.”
“I see. But why can’t you date for a while? Why hurry to get married?”
“We both love Chloe and Jace, too. We want to adopt them.”
“Yes, but Josh was going to adopt Jace without being married. Then you could date for a while, and you wouldn’t be in such a rush. You could be sure before you make a life-long commitment.”
“But we’d lose Chloe.”
Steven sighed. “Charlie, I’m afraid you’re concentrating too much on the kids, and you’re not thinking enough about each other. Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure you both love each other? Real love? Forever, put-each-other-first love?”
Charlie hesitated. She knew she loved Josh. But he didn’t love her—at least not yet. She felt pretty confident about their decision until the nurse had talked to her. Now she was unsure. Maybe she wasn’t good enough for Josh anymore. She felt her eyes watering.
“Sweetie?” said Anne. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m... I’m going to be weak now. And I’ll have ugly scars. Maybe Dad’s right. Maybe he won’t
love me.” A fat tear rolled down her cheek, as she was barraged by sudden insecurity.
Anne glared at Steven. “Why would you say that?”
“Wait a minute! That’s not what I said. I didn’t say anything like that. Charlie, that’s not what I meant.”
“Sweetie, he won’t care about your scars,” said Anne.
“Charlie, I’m sure he’s not going to stop loving you because of scars or anything else having to do with your accident.”
His words made her cry even harder. He didn’t realize Josh didn’t really love her. She’d thought he would grow to love her, but maybe she was wrong. He could have anyone. He could have someone perfect. Why would he want to settle for her since she was marred?
“But you don’t know for sure. And the nurse said I would be sick all the time because I don’t have a spleen.” She sniffed and winced at the sharp pain from her quick intake of breath.