“The difference is, your dad didn’t know about you, Noah.”
“I would’ve never left had I known your mom was pregnant.”
I’ve heard this before. From both my mom and dad. Doesn’t make me feel any better, though. Why didn’t she try harder to reach him? Why didn’t she go to California and try to find him?
“I don’t know if I can let another man raise my child.” I avoid eye contact with my dad because I know he’s going to take my comment personally.
“Fair enough,” he says. “But tell me this. Would you rather your son or daughter grow up in a home where there isn’t any love between the parents?”
“I… I love her.”
“As much as you love Peyton?” Nick asks.
I shake my head. “It’s different. I can’t explain it, but when I look at her and think about my child growing inside, my stomach turns. I never thought of her being the mother of my children, and now that she is…”
“You know, I thought I was in love with your mom until I met Aubrey. One look at her and my whole world shifted. I no longer counted the days since I had seen you. Instead, I looked forward to bringing her back to Beaumont to meet you. Aubrey was who I was meant to be with and it took your dad coming back to get me to open my eyes. Can you imagine if I had never gone to Africa?”
“You wouldn’t have Mack and Amelie.”
“Well, I can do without Mack,” my dad mutters but does so with a partial smile.
Nick glares at my dad and shakes his head. “Right, I’d be a shell of who I am now. Lost in a world of heartache and despair. I would’ve watched you grow up from the outside looking in and not been a part of your life. Aubrey… she encouraged me, guided me into looking deep within myself to find the man I was supposed to be.
“I know it wasn’t easy for your dad to let me be a part of your life, but I’m beyond grateful he allowed it. Just because you’re not with the mother of your child, doesn’t make you any less of a father.”
“As much as I hate saying this, Noah, Nick is right. Without him, where are you? Are you the standout baseball player in high school, the starting quarterback of a professional team? He started you on that path, not me. I jumped in and rode the coattails. Most of the time I hated it, but at least you had Nick, who I know loved you, who stepped up and raised a child that wasn’t his own, only to lose him. Wouldn’t you rather your child be loved by everyone?”
“Marriage shouldn’t be out of obligation, Noah,” Nick adds.
“And you shouldn’t jump into anything until you’re a hundred percent sure,” Dad says.
“About what? Marriage? I’ll never be sure, especially with her. I broke up with her before Peyton woke up, and days later she tells me she’s pregnant.”
“Are you sure she’s pregnant?” Nick asks.
“I mean, she says she is.”
My dad groans loudly. I know from his past experience, he’s not always trusting of people and has good reasons not to be.
“You have every right to ask for proof, Noah,” Nick suggests.
“She went to the doctor, but I had an away game.” Even as I say the words out loud I’m starting to second-guess everything. Dessie wouldn’t do this to me, would she? “She can’t fake a pregnancy,” I tell them. “We aren’t sleeping together so it’s not like she can suddenly get pregnant.”
Neither of them say anything. They don’t have to. There is already enough doubt in my mind. They don’t need to add to it. Dessie told me she was months along, which should mean she should start showing soon. It also means there could be some damage to the baby because of her partying.
“Nick, is there a way to check and see if the baby is healthy?”
“Yeah, there is. Why, are you concerned?”
I nod. “Dessie parties, at least she had been up until she told me she was pregnant.” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “What if there’s something wrong with the baby?”
Nick places his hand on my back. “We can run a test to make sure. Dessie has to agree though.”
“Right.” I nod. I like to think she would, but I can’t be sure.
“Noah, have you considered you might not be the father?”
I look at my dad and shake my head. ?