I let out a sob and he comes to me, except I hold up my hand. I don’t want him to touch me right now.
“Joey—”
I shake my head and find the courage to speak. “It seems … I took your advice and left the hotel. I thought I’d check out a few of the shops on Main Street and found this wedding gown boutique, and after running the pros and cons of why you want a wedding through my mind I finally went inside. I fell in love with this dress,” I take it and toss it on the counter, not caring if it gets ruined, “and the clerk recognized me. At first I thought she was sweet, but that sweetness quickly turned sour when she started to ignore me and the other clerk had to check me out. Seems like she had called the media, and when I stepped outside I was bombarded.
“I was handling it, keeping my head down and not showing them that they were getting to me until they dropped the most epic bomb ever.”
He nods, because he knows what’s coming.
“When were you going to tell me?”
“Today,” he says, taking a step forward.
“That seems convenient since this is the first I’ve heard about it. I read the sites, Josh, no one has said a thing.”
“I only found out today, Joey. You have to believe me.” He takes my hand and I willingly follow him to the couch, but I put some space between us. His face falls when he sees me slide to the other end. He can’t fix this with sex and sweet talk.
“Jules showed up right after you and I hung up. I didn’t know what to think at first, and I still don’t. I’m so confused.”
“Is she pregnant?”
He nods.
“Did you cheat on me?”
Josh moves to the floor, getting down on his knees. He pushes himself between my legs and begs me to look at him. When I do, I see tears, torment, and fear etched across his beautiful face.
“I did not cheat on you. I haven’t seen Jules since the end of the show, Joey, and I didn’t sleep with her in the green room if that is what you’re thinking. I love you, Joey. Not her. You’re the one I want to be with.”
I shake my head and wipe angrily at my tears. “So she’s really pregnant.”
“Yes, she’s showing. She said she’s about six months or something.”
“Great.”
Rising, I go into the bedroom and shut the door. He follows, coming behind me to hold me. I let him, but don’t return the affection.
“I’m scared,” he says, breaking my heart into pieces. He doesn’t want to be a father, but I know he will. And forever, as long as Josh and I are together, Jules will be there.
“What are you going to do, Josh?”
“We, what are we going to do,” he counters.
I turn in his arms and see the agony he’s going through. “You. I didn’t get her pregnant. I didn’t try to ruin her life on national television. I didn’t try to ruin one of the happiest moments she was feeling by showing up and stealing you away. Jules is your problem, not mine.”
“But you’d be the baby’s step mom.”
And that’s when it hits me. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be second best in Josh’s life or even an afterthought. Babies are hard work, and they need a lot of bonding. Jules will likely demand that Josh spend time at her place with the baby and I don’t think I can live like that.
I’ve seen Joey cry, but not like this. Every few seconds there’s another sob and there isn’t shit I can do about it. Both our phones have been ringing off the hook and once we shut those off, the hotel phone started. I’m so fucking torn and confused. My wife is in agony and my ex-girlfriend is pregnant. If my life isn’t a fucking soap opera, I don’t know what it is.
All the curtains are drawn in our room and the lights are off, aside from the closet and bathroom light, with the only sounds in the room coming from Joey and my beating heart. The paparazzi are outside, setting up camp to make sure that we stay put. They want an exclusive. They want to be the ones to dig the knife deeper into Joey’s chest the minute she walks out the door with questions about Jules. Staying here isn’t an option, but switching isn’t either. We’re in a small town and people are going to find us no matter where we go now. The only phone call I’ve made is to Matt, letting him know the situation and to make sure the director knows I won’t be in for a few days. Joey is far too important to me and right now this is where I need to be. If that means they have to put filming on a hiatus, then so be it.
My wife won’t let me touch her and she doesn’t want to talk. When I’m not sitting, I’m pacing the floor, begging Joey to listen to me, except I don’t have anything to say. Every time I open my mouth, nothing comes out and I’m frozen. I’ve told her that I’m sorry, but it’s not enough. And when she asks me what I’m going to do, I clam up. I don’t have a choice and she knows this.
Being a father is something I never wanted and now it’s being thrown in my face because I trusted the wrong person. If this were happening to Joey, I’d be fine with it, but not Jules. I’m in love with Joey and want to spend the rest of my life with her. With Jules
being a part of that I’m not sure it’s going to happen. Joey hates her, and with good measure. Hell, I’m starting to hate her. Jules is ruining my fucking life right now and I have no one to blame but myself.