“To see you,” she says quietly. She’s trying to maintain eye contact with me, but can’t. Not that I can blame her, I’m not exactly smiling at her right now. I move to the side of my bed and rest my elbows on my knees. My heart is breaking and staring at her is only making it worse.
“I’m sorry for being a dick, Josie. But you really shouldn’t be here. Sterling will probably show up and find you and it’ll be ugly.”
“I’m not leaving until we figure this out. If your dad wants to toss me out on my ass, so be it. But until that happens you and I are talking.”
I look at her over my shoulder and see tears pooling in her eyes. I knew this wouldn’t be easy, but I was hoping tears would be avoidable. We’ve had a few days to figure shit out and what we’re going to say to each other. She thinks I cheated. I think she likes Ashford a bit too much. It’s jealousy that’s going to drive us apart and there’s nothing I can do about it. Hell, I don’t even know what to do about it. I don’t know how to change it either.
“I don’t like to see you cry, Jojo, so say what you have to say. I can take it.”
Josie takes a deep breath and I focus on a spot on my floor, hoping that it can keep my attention because looking at her will break me.
“I love you, Liam Page Westbury, and I don’t know why we ended up like this for the past two days, but I don’t like it. I don’t like not seeing you every day or even hearing your voice. We had a fight… our first fight and it was a big one. We’ve never even argued before and that fight was huge. I don’t know how we’re supposed to fix it, but we have to because I love you too much and I can’t live if you’re not in my life.”
Against my better judgment I turn and look at her. Tears are falling down her face. I want to reach for her and hold her against me, taking away all the pain I’ve caused. This only proves my point – I’m a piece of shit boyfriend.
“Josie –” she puts her hand up to stop me.
“Let me finish.” I nod. “You’re leaving for school soon. We only have weeks, Liam, and the last thing I want is to spend the rest of our time together with this hanging over our heads. I won’t be able to handle being away from you knowing that things weren’t perfect when you left. Until football is over, I’ll hardly see you and I hate to think that you’ll be unsure about us while you’re in Texas,” she sobs. Josie covers her face with her hands and hiccups. It only takes me seconds before I have her pulled into my arms. I’m stroking her back, her shoulders and arms, anything I can to soothe the pain I’ve caused her.
“I love you, Josie. I hope you know that. The other night – I was drunk and hurt – it’s no excuse, but it’s all I can offer.”
“I’m sorry about my dad, Liam. I didn’t know he was going to do that and when I asked him why, he said something stupid about my cousin and family and I was pissed. I ditched as soon as I could, but then I found you and Candy.”
“We were talking, Jojo.”
She shakes her head. I shouldn’t have to defend my actions. It’s not like I was doing something bad.
“You were smoking.”
I tense briefly in her arms. “I was trying something new. That’s what we’re supposed to do, right? How are we supposed to grow as people if we don’t try new things or test limits? I’d never do anything to disrespect you, babe. I wouldn’t. Nothing is worth that.”
Josie nods and snuggles into my chest. I lay us back onto my bed and curl her into me. “Are we breaking up?” I ask, stupidly.
“I don’t want to, ever.”
“Me neither, Jojo. I love you more than anything.”
“More than smoking with Candy?”
I nod, unable to answer. I do love Josie, but smoking with Candy was peaceful and relaxing. There was no talk about expectations or life. I look into Josie’s blue eyes and smile. “Yes, baby.” I say as I bring my lips down onto hers. I pull her to me, sliding my leg in between hers. Her leg hitches over my hip as she moans into my mouth. I’ve heard make-up sex is the best ever invention, but I don’t know what’s going on downstairs and the last thing I need is for my father to bust open my door when my robotic mother tells him Josie’s in here and have him find us in a compromising position. So right now I’ll make out with my girl before she slips away from me.
Chapter 21
I’m packing the last bit of camping gear into my truck when I hear the screen door open and shut. There’s a squeak, something that I’m surprised hasn’t been fixed yet, but I guess if you never come out here you don’t know about it. I know about it, but refuse to oil the hinges. Personally, I like the noise. It’s somewhat soothing in what is otherwise a rather quiet house.
I don’t have to turn around to know that Sterling is approaching me. It’s the stench
of his cologne that wafts through the air that alerts me to his location. I move the storage totes full of camping supplies around in my truck, tying them down with bungee cords just to keep myself busy. I really have no inclination to turn around and see what he wants. It’s funny, really. He hasn’t spoken to me in months and now he’s standing out here watching me. Maybe he thinks I’m moving out or leaving early for college. The thought has crossed my mind. I can check in anytime, but next week is the official day to report. I’ll have one day to acclimatize myself before football starts.
Sterling clears his throat causing me to stiffen. I was so close, yet still couldn’t get out of here before he decided that today of all days he would talk to me. Mason and I are taking the girls camping for a week. Next Monday we leave for the University of Texas and won’t see them for a few weeks. I’ve already looked at our game schedule to figure out when I can sneak back to see Josie. Even if I can only see her for a few hours, the drive will be worth it. I also have to find a way to get her to campus for a weekend. The college football season is much longer than high school and there’s definitely no way I’m going the whole time without seeing my girl.
I adjust the tote in front of me simply because I don’t want to turn around. I have nothing to say to him.
“I thought we could talk.” I ignore him and move to the side of my truck and start tying down the tarp. I was going to do this when I stopped at Josie’s, but right now the distraction affords me the opportunity to zone him out. “Son.” I stop and raise my eyes slowly to meet his. He looks like he’s aged at least ten years since we went on the college visits.
“You lost the right to call me son a long time ago,” I inform him through gritted teeth. I pull on the rope and thread it through the side of my truck.
“We should talk.”