“How can I make it up to you?”
He pulls back and sniffs loudly, making me chuckle. He has little habits that Josie tries so hard to break and yet he still does them and it cracks me up.
“You want to make it up to me?”
I nod. “I do. I want to be a part of your life and your mom and dad said I can, but it’s really up to you.”
“I want you to coach my teams.” He blurts out.
I can’t help but smile. “Yeah, your dad said that. What’s wrong with your new coach?”
Noah shrugs. “He didn’t run the pass routes right and tried changing too much stuff and he let his son be quarterback and he can’t even though ten yards. The season was a mess and he says he’s coaching baseball and I can’t play for him anymore.” Noah throws his hands up in the air almost hitting me in the face. He’s clearly frustrated with how things went this fall.
“I’d love to coach you. I honestly thought your dad would do it.”
He climbs down from my lap and stands in front of me, dropping his backpack on the ground. “He wants to, but he gets busy. Maybe he can coach with you.”
“Yeah, he could. He’s pretty smart when it comes to quarterbacks.” As much as I want to cringe, I can’t. I won’t. I refuse to cause any turmoil in his life. If he wants me to coach with Liam, I will.
“Are you going to stay?”
“I am. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
Noah jumps into my arms. “I’m so glad that you came back.”
“Me too, buddy.” I play punch him in the stomach only for him to start shadow boxing with me. It looks like he’s been practicing his moves. Not that I’d ever encourage him to box, but would hope he’d use the punching bag as part of his workout when he gets to high school.
Noah stops and sits back down next to me. He rests his legs out in front of him, copying my position, even crossing his ankles. “So what did you in Africa?”
“I helped a lot of kids when they got sick. I even helped deliver a couple of babies. I got to play football with some of the kids, but their football is our soccer. They can’t afford to have helmets and pads to protect them.”
“That’s cool. I didn’t do much while you were gone. I got to go on tour with my dad and we moved into his house.” Noah shrugs and looks up at me.
“You can talk about your dad and living in his house. I’m okay with it.”
His smile tells me that he needed this affirmation from me. “I have a new friend, his name is Quinn, but he doesn’t play football or anything. His dad is Harrison and he’s in the band with my dad.”
“I can’t wait to meet Quinn.”
“You want to meet him?”
“Of course I do. I’d like things to be good between us. Just because your mom and I aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean our relationship has to change.”
“Yeah,” he says this so quietly I have to strain to hear him. He starts kicking the grass and looking across the field. I know something is going on in his little mind.
“What’s wrong?”
Noah shakes his head. “Nothing, I just… I don’t know what to call you because sometimes I used to call you dad, but I don’t want my dad to get mad.”
He shouldn’t have to think about things like this. It’s just a name, but I don’t know the answer. Maybe it’s something he should ask his dad and see how he feels about it.
“Have you asked your dad?”
“No. I didn’t think you were coming back and now here you are.”
“Fair enough, Noah. Why don’t you ask your dad and get his thoughts. I don’t care what you call me just as long as we get to hang out.”
Noah’s quiet for a few minutes as he stares off. I sit and watch him, hating the fact that I’ve missed a year. It’s hard to believe that so much of his life was consumed in mine and I just walked away from him. I should kick my own ass.