The audible gasp is from Josie. I’m picturing her with her hand over her mouth. I hear nothing from Liam. I chance a look and am met with indifference. I can’t tell what he’s thinking. Even though we’ve only known each other a short time, it’s been enough for us to form a bond.
“How far are you?” Josie asks, her voice wavering.
I bite the inside of my cheek and straighten out the tablecloth. “I’m past my first trimester. I’m starting to show. My clothes are tighter and my mom knows. But she can’t really keep a secret and is dying to tell you. I know she’s excited.” I chance a look at Josie. She’s smiling widely and that makes me feel relieved.
“Who’s the father? I haven’t seen you with anyone, ever.” Liam’s words remind me that I’ve been alone and will continue to be that way.
“Liam,” Josie scolds.
“What?” he shrugs. “I’m just asking. She’s family, right?” Josie nods. “Well, if she has someone in her life, I’d like to know him.”
“You can’t,” I blurt out.
“Why not?” he asks.
“Because he’s not around.”
“What do you mean ‘he’s not around’?” Liam’s tone is hard and to the point.
I swallow hard and square myself for battle. “I’ve decided not to tell him. We’re not together and he doesn’t live here. It’s for the best.” Josie’s face goes pale just as Liam’s turns red.
“Are you kidding me?”
I shake my head and bite the inside of my cheek.
“You know what, that’s some very selfish bullshit. Josie tried to tell me that she was pregnant and it kills me every day knowing that I wasn’t there for her and Noah. I wasn’t given a fucking choice on whether or not I was going to be a douche or not. It was made for me. What makes you think the father doesn’t want to be involved?”
“He’s younger and not in the right frame of mind to be in this situation.”
“So why sleep with him?”
“Liam,” Josie scolds again.
“No, I want to know. You have to know the risk when you decide to sleep with someone. Hell, I knew and the biggest bitch burned me. Men don’t think of these things when we’re having sex, but women do. Your clocks tick and all that shit. So if he’s not father material, why do it?”
Tears stream down my cheeks while Liam rants. I know he’s right, but it’s not like we planned this. It just happened.
“It wasn’t planned, Liam. It was a one night stand.” I take a deep breath. “It’s not ideal, but it’s my decision. I can do this by myself.”
“Until your ex comes around. I’m sure once he finds out that you’re pregnant with another man’s baby that will set him off.”
I nod because he’s right. Damien always wanted a baby and I did everything I could to prevent us from conceiving.
“I’ll deal with him then.”
“No, we’ll deal with it. You have to tell the father, Jenna.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? He has a right to know,” Liam pleads.
“I’m pretty sure he regrets sleeping with me. I don’t need to see the look on his face when I remind him of the night we spent together and how we’re now having a child. That sort of stuff ruins lives, Liam. I don’t want to ruin his life.”
“He has a right to know and if he doesn’t want to be a part of your baby’s life, then he’s the one missing out, but you have to give him the opportunity whether you think he’s father material or not.
“Don’t take the opportunity away from him. It was taken away from me and I live with a gap in my heart. He deserves to know.”
Liam gets up and leaves us. Josie and I jump when the basement door slams. She moves over next to me, pulling me into her arms. I try not to cry, but it’s to no avail. It should’ve been easier to tell Josie and Liam over my mother, but it wasn’t. My mom has always known that I want to be a mother. She knows this is my chance.