And now here I am, happy and sad that I’m pregnant. I don’t know what I’ll tell my parents. They’ll want to meet the man responsible and that’s just not possible. He has a life away from me and it was a one-time thing. It’s not like I can call him up and ask if he remembers me and drop the bomb mid conversation, “oh by the way...”
I’m trying not to freak out. I know I can do this, but I’ll need more hours at the store or I’ll have to find a new job. I don’t want to quit on Josie though. I’ll have to talk to her. I pick up all the applicators and throw them away, saving one. I’m not sure why, but it feels right.
The clock shows just after five – I need to get to Whimsicality for open mic night. This is a night where I’ll make decent tips. Now that Josie can serve alcohol, nights like these have been a hit. People sign-up weeks in advance just for the small hope that they’ll be playing in front of someone from 4225 West. The guys are usually in the back and rarely make an appearance. Liam doesn’t want to take away from what Josie is doing for these artists.
I live on the same block on which the shop is located. Living on Main Street has its perks. I don’t need to drive and the only time I take out my beat up Corolla is when I babysit the kids. Everything is within walking distance too; the bank, grocery store and doctor’s office. I’ve waited almost two months; it’s time that I make my appointment. I can’t put it off any longer.
I wrap my scarf around my neck as I step out into the cold, crisp air. I’m counting the days until spring. Not that it’s overly cold in Beaumont, but I’m looking forward to some sun. I want to watch the flowers bloom as they line the street with every color imaginable. The trees in the park will turn nice and pink with the cherry blossoms. I want to sit on the bench and rest my hand on my swollen belly and feel my baby kick.
I want to enjoy these things with a partner, but that’s not possible. It would figure that when I finally have enough courage to be with someone, it’s a one-night stand and there’s no hope for us to get together. It’s just my luck that I’m attracted to the one guy who doesn’t really know I exist except for in some hidden room away from everyone. I hate thinking that he doesn’t know my name. I’m telling myself that he does. I’m writing my own story from that night, one filled with unadulterated passion and lust. A night where we watched each other from the other side of the room and when we met in the hallway, alone, we knew.
It was the first time I had felt safe with a man in a long time. Even though it was just sex, he held me. He kissed me like he was never going to see me again. At least that was true. He moved his hands over my body like he had been there a hundred times before.
I know I can make a happy story for my child, one that in which the night he was created was full of love and laughter, that he was loved from the moment I found out.
I take a deep breath and enter the shop. I’m pleasantly surprised to find the guys here.
“What’s going on?” I ask no one in particular.
“We’re playing tonight. JD arrived early and we’re bored. The kids will be down to help you bus tables and Ralph is coming in to help you bartend.” Liam kisses me on the cheek after he finishes rambling.
“Are you expecting a big crowd?”
“I tweeted about it and put the word on the street,” Jimmy answers as he walks by with a big box in his hand. He sets it down and starts plugging cords into the back.
“You tweeted?” I question.
“Twitter, social networking, innit?”
“I know what Twitter is, Jimmy.”
Jimmy smiles devilishly. This guy is bad news through and through. “Stay off Twitter, Sweet Lips, it’s full of celebrity wannabe’s and wanna-don’t-be’s.”
He starts whistling some tune that I’m sure is one of their hits. I suppose if Jimmy ‘tweeted’ all his loyal harems will be out in droves tonight. That means shitty tips and rude women. Yay, fun times for Jenna.
I go out back, take off my coat and store it in my locker. I think it’s funny that we have lockers, but Josie is all about safety. I admire her for that. We aren’t allowed to leave the shop at night without someone walking us to our cars and, in my case, my apartment. She usually has Liam or Harrison do it, but if they’re not around she calls her friend and local police officer, Paul Baker to come down.
Josie walks in, followed by Noah. He looks bored and is probably wishing he were at home playing video games.
“Jimmy tweeted,” I say. “I think that means we’ll be busy.”
Josie starts to laugh covering her face instantly when she snorts. “Oh God, how embarrassing, I can’t believe I just did that.”
“I can,” Noah says with a roll of his eyes. “You do it all the time. It annoys dad, by the way.”
“Oh hush, you,” Josie pushes him away slightly. “Are you over the flu?”
I nod. I hate lying to her, but she’ll have so many questions that I’m not ready to answer. Truth is I’m not over it. Certain foods make my stomach turn and I’m thankful none of those foods are served here.
I walk out to the front and start making the coffee. We serve wine and beer mostly. For food, we have pastries and sandwiches. I busy myself setting up. As soon as the doors open, people file in. I ready myself for our first customer, except it’s not a customer who steps up. I give him a half smile, the only thing I can muster. I don’t want people to know and for the life of me can’t understand why he’s standing here looking at me. We aren’t friends. It was one moment, a moment that I’ll remember for a lifetime and one that he can forget about.
SITTING in Josie’s café and people watching is entertaining. At the table opposite me is a couple. The girl is dressed in jeans and a jumper while her companion is wearing boat-shoes and a tweed coat. It’s laughable really, the differences between the two. I can already tell you, without even knowing her, that if she had the opportunity she’d go home with a band member. Not because of who we are, but because of what we represent. Danger. Excitement. Her friend, on the other hand, would rather be in front of a fire, smoking his cigar and watching some boring documentary on TV. My betting is that the only shagging style in his vocabulary is missionary. His bird though, I can tell she likes it rough. I bet she likes to have her hair pulled and her arse spanked, maybe. Their relationship is in its early days. They’re testing the water and it’s about to get rocky. I should offer the poor bloke a dinghy to save his slowly sinking ego.
The café part of Josie’s business is small, but has a homey feel. I like that I can come in here whenever I want and play an acoustic set or just sit in the corner and have a coffee. She always has fresh chocolate chip cookies too, and I really like those.
Jenna walks past with a tray of drinks. She’s usually wearing a skirt or dress, but tonight she’s sporting a pair of black trousers that accentuate all of her curves. Her dark red hair is longer than normal. I remember she was wearing it up for Liam and Josie’s wedding because I couldn’t stop staring at her neck. But I didn’t stop at her neck. I took in every inch of her body. I’ve never been a parts man, but looking at Jenna makes me want to be one, although I’d never be able to stop at just one place as far as she’s concerned.
I have trouble talking to her and I don’t know why. Our earlier conversation, albeit short, was stupid. I felt like a complete numpty when I was trying to explain what Twitter was. I think everyone, except maybe Aubrey, knows what it is. I’ve known Jenna for about year and don’t know anything about her. Maybe if I spend more time in Beaumont we can become friends, although I’m kidding myself thinking someone like her would want to be friends with someone like me. She reminds me of Chelsea with all her little foibles. Jenna’s always laughing when she’s with Josie and Katelyn, and it hasn’t escaped my notice that she’s never with a man.