“Did you hear what I said back there? When we were in the parking lot?”
I shake my head slowly, telling her the truth. “All night I’ve been hung up on the fact that you have a daughter. I guess I sort of knew but wasn’t sure.”
“How did you know?”
Pulling my phone out, I open the photos app and show her the pictures I found. “Dhara has them on her profile. The little girl, she looks a lot like you, so I assumed, but you hadn’t said anything, and I was too afraid to ask you.”
“Her name is Evelyn.”
“I know, I just have a hard time saying it because part of me doesn’t want her to be real. She’s named after your grandma?”
Whiskey nods. “Grandma passed away when I was about seven months pregnant. At the time, I really hadn’t thought of a name or decided on whether I was going to keep her. I was really messed up back then.”
“That’s my fault.”
Whiskey reaches for my hand and presses it against her cheek. “You may have triggered things, but you weren’t the only issue. Imagine my surprise when I finally tracked down my baby daddy and he tells me under no certain circumstances will he be part of our lives. I spent the last few months of my pregnancy going back and forth with him. He finally agreed to pay child support if I kept my mouth shut.”
“What a fucking douche.”
She nods. “Yep, a rich, stupid douche bag, living the high life in his fancy house with his fancy wife and his private school educated kids. But I won in the end.”
“Because you have Evelyn?”
Whiskey smiles when I say her name. “She’s the best, Ajay. She’s smart, funny, and can turn a shitty day into something salvageable.”
I tug on Whiskey’s hand and nod toward the spot beside me. She sits down and rests her head on my shoulder. “I don’t have much experience with kids,” I tell her. “Chandler’s seven and hangs around the studio some, and then there’s Betty Paige who I see back stage. That’s about it.”
“Who’s Chandler and Betty Paige?”
“Chandler is Keane’s daughter. Betty Paige is Liam’s teenage hellion determined to put her father in an early grave… his words, not mine.”
“Chandler is a girl?”
I nod. “Her mom was a Friends fan, according to Keane. She’s wicked cool though. Loves to read and draw and hates the spotlight.”
“I have a feeling Evelyn’s going to love the spotlight.”
Hearing her say that makes my heart twist. “Whiskey, I don’t think it’s such a good idea to mix her in my world. People pry, they spread rumors, they take photos of you while you’re eating. They’ll follow you around and shove their cameras into your faces, post shit about you on social media. Is that what you want?”
Whiskey stands and goes over to the slider door. She leans against it, staring out into the night. Bailey is quiet now, everyone’s gone home to get ready for their week to start. Bright and early, Nola and Quinn will pull up in front of the Inn and we’ll drive to the airfield where Quinn and I will fly back to the tour bus, and Nola will go home to Malibu.
“I’ve been through a rollercoaster of emotions with you in my life, Ajay. Literally every single one you can think of and probably some that don’t even have names. When your group first played on the radio, I loved the song and then I found out who was in the group and hated every bit of it. Dhara was relentless, though, and would play your music even though I hated it. But when she wasn’t around, I’d listen to it willingly. And then I’d start to wonder what life would’ve been like for us, for Evelyn, because despite her being another man’s child now, she would’ve been ours had we stayed together.”
My girl turns and faces me. “There used to be this show on about a female movie star or musician — I don’t really remember which because it didn’t last long — but I pictured myself as her, walking down some random street with people following her. She acted like she didn’t care, and I thought I could’ve done that. But then I would read articles about celebrities having issues and I started thinking life is too crazy when you’re famous.”
“It’s the only part that I hate. Thankfully though, I’m still a nobody and people don’t bother with me as much as they do with Dana and Quinn. Quinn grew up in the spotlight, he’s used to it. Dana craves it. Me, I just want to play the drums.”
“And Evelyn and I want to be with you.” She walks toward me until she’s standing between my legs. Her arms are resting on my shoulders and her fingers are playing with the back of my neck. I don’t know where to put my hands. Do I leave them on the bed? Put them on the back of her thighs? That’s where I really want to put them, and it seems that my hands know better than I do now. The feel of her legs pressing into my palms is enough to make me forget everything that’s hanging in the balance.
“Evelyn doesn’t know me, Whiskey. She may hate me because I’m not Logan. They looked like they’re pretty close earlier. There’s no denying that they have a connection. She may resent me for taking time away from her when it comes to you. She may hate me because I’m not here. I live in California and there’s no changing that. Have you thought about that? That being with me means you give up your life in Bailey and relocate? Or do you want me to travel back and forth? While that may sound ideal, it doesn’t work, not all the time. The studio we record in is in Los Angeles. I have to be there.”
“You’re the one who said you wanted to be my husband.” She throws my words right back at me.
“You’re right, I did. I was letting my heart get ahead of the bigger picture. I wish I could say that you having a daughter doesn’t change things, but it does. I’m not going to ask you to uproot your life… her life… to accommodate
mine. We aren’t kids anymore. We have responsibilities. You have a little human that depends on you, and I’m not going to get in the way of that. I love you, Whiskey. I always have and I always will, but my life is there. Yours is here. I’m not going to ask you to give it up for me. I did that once and look at how things turned out for us.”
“We were young,” she says. “I could’ve fought harder.”