I roll my eyes. “Is that what this is about, money? Does Ajay owe you some? Because if he does, I’ll tell him to pay you and we can be done with this crap. Neither of us want to be married to each other, and yet something as simple as Harvey signing the papers to end this farce of a marriage is too much to ask.”
“I’ve already said I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well sometimes sorry isn’t good enough, Dad.” I glance at him, he’s staring down at his hands. “Three days a week for three months, that’s how long I have to spend with him. And he’s determined to fulfill the sentencing. What am I going to do with Evelyn?”
“You know she can stay here.”
“Not the point.”
“So, introduce them.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to see the hurt in his eyes, Dad. He wanted our baby, and he has no one, except for his band, while I have her.”
I leave my dad on the steps and go inside to see what my mother is doing. I find her and Evelyn at the table, working on a craft project. I don’t ask questions, I just sit down and immerse myself in glue, glitter, colored cotton balls and construction paper. At times, I have to excuse myself because my eyes start tearing up, and I can’t stop them. I’m so angry with my father, and yet there’s a small piece of me that is happy he did what he did because I saw Ajay. Seeing him, however, has opened old wounds, wounds that have never fully healed. I could use our time together to gain some closure, but knowing my heart, it’s highly unlikely that will happen. It’s always belonged to him and as much as I’d love to close the door, I’m not capable… it remains wide open for him to come in and destroy me.
Instead of returning to the craft table, I sneak out back and walk the steps my father built down to the beach. My mom has two chairs and a small table out here, but I choose to sit closer to the water.
The cold, wet sand feels good as I dig my toes into it. The waves come close, but barely touch me except for the errant one that envelops me. I don’t care that I’m wet and sandy, right now it’s the only thing that can distract me from my aching heart.
“He meant well,” my mom says as she sits down next to me. She hands me a bottle of beer with the top already twisted off.
“I have to drive home,” I tell her.
“Not until after dinner and one beer won’t hurt you.”
Still, I hesitate before taking a drink. It’s one of her fruity beers, something I don’t particularly care for. Maybe that’s why she gave it to me, knowing I’d nurse the bottle instead of finishing it.
“Did you know about this?”
“Not until this afternoon when Tina called. Why didn’t you tell me he was back in town?”
“Because I thought he would be gone after today, that I wouldn’t have to see him again.”
“And what were you going to do with your divorce papers?”
I try to peel the label off the bottle even though I know it won’t come off. Back in high school, Ajay and I used to do this. We’d save them, saying that when we had our own place, we’d make wallpaper out of all the labels. Good thing that idea lasted as long as our marriage… well the initial part of our marriage.
“I was going to sneak into the records and put them in there. Blame the clerk for not filing them correctly.”
“So, Ajay comes back, and you revert back to your old ways?” she asks. I shrug. Sometimes being bad is fun. “I used to think he was a bad influence on you but maybe it was the other way around.”
“He definitely encouraged me.”
As my mom and I sit, she points out different birds that land near us and talks about how the tide is shifting. She tells me that the craft project that we were working on was for the senior center and that it was Evelyn’s idea to make glitter cards. I remind her that last week Evelyn’s class went on a field trip there and that’s all Evelyn talked about for days.
“Why’d he do it, Mom?”
“Who, your dad or Ajay?”
I close my eyes briefly. “Both.”
“Well, I can’t speak for Ajay, but I imagine he just got lost and couldn’t find his way back home. Your father… I don’t know, Jamie. We watched you struggle for so long after Ajay left; I think that always played in the back of his mind. He’s a father after all, and he’s protective of his daughter.”
“How did he know where to find him?”
“There was an ad in the paper for the concert. I threw it away but found it later on his dresser. He had circled Ajay’s name. I tried to talk him out of whatever he was planning, but you know your father. Once he sets his mind to something there’s no stopping him.”
“I’m the one who teepeed Harvey’s house. Ajay just drove my truck. I did it because I heard what you told Dad about Harvey hitting on you and I got pissed.”