Her voice is small, nothing like the strong, confident woman I know.
“What?” I ask. Her back is facing me and I’m waiting for her to turn around. “Whiskey, what did you say?” She turns slowly and looks at me. I’ve seen this before. It’s the face she makes before she breaks down and cries. “Jamie?”
She smiles sadly. “The other night after I saw you, I pulled out a box of our stuff. I found your diploma, by the way, and if I had my purse, I’d give it to you. I thought that maybe you’d want that.”
“Thanks.”
She nods. “Anyway, there they were, at the bottom of my memories, folded up nice and neat. The only thing was, they were the originals, not the stamped copy you get back from the clerk after you file them… and lo and behold my signature was missing from them.”
“Is that what you were doing earlier when I saw you?”
“Yeah.”
“But you were crying. Why?”
“Because I’m stupid. Because life sucks sometimes. Because my dad can be a total jerk and as much as I hate you, you don’t deserve this.”
Hearing her say she hates me makes my knees wobble. I grab hold of the metal bed railing and ease myself onto the bed. Deep down I knew she did but hearing her say as much is like a punch in my gut.
“You should hate me, Whiskey. What I did to you, to us… I have never forgiven myself.”
Whiskey sits down across from me and relaxes against the wall. “We were young, stupid—”
“And in love,” I finish her sentence for her.
“I was going to say naïve, but I suppose ‘in love’ works as well.”
“I was naïve about life, still am sometimes, but I know without a doubt I was in love with you.”
She repeats the word “was” quietly to herself. What she doesn’t know is that I’d profess my love to her without any hesitation if I thought it would mean anything to her. But I know it wouldn’t be fair to her, she has a life and I don’t plan to interrupt that for her.
“So,” she says, rubbing her hands down the front of her legs. “Speaking of life, how goes it?”
Nice change of subject, I’ll give her that and appease her request. “Life’s good.”
“Yeah, big time drummer in a fancy band.”
I smirk. “Band is anything but fancy and I’m just the drummer.”
“Not according to Dhara. She says you’re on tour with the man of her dreams, 4 something. I honestly don’t pay attention when she starts talking about music.”
“4225 West is who we’re on tour with. Their drummer is one of our lead singer’s dads.” She looks at me oddly and I shrug. “Made better sense in my head.” I look away, unable to keep my eyes on her out of fear that I’ll end up sitting next to her, begging her to give me another chance.
“I’m sorry, Ajay.”
“For what?”
“For messing up your life like this. Your girlfriend, who, by the way, is hot… and I’m totally jealous of her tits… looked pretty pissed off when I blurted out that we’re still married. I suppose I’m screwing something up there as well. I’m going to tell Harvey that we need the decree signed off on right away so you can get on with your life. I’m sure the date is coming up soon.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask her once she’s done rambling.
“Your wedding.”
“What wedding? Who told you I was getting married?” I know exactly what she’s doing, and I have no intentions of stopping her. I like when she’s like this, flustered and digging for information without being bold enough to ask me outright.
“I saw her ring. It’s gorgeous.”
I look at her hand and see nothing, not even a tan line. I shouldn’t care, but I do. She’s right about Elle’s ring though. It’s big and flashy, and it makes me wonder if Whiskey thinks that could’ve been hers if we had stayed together. Thing is though, right now I can’t even afford that. With Sinful Distraction just starting, funds are still mediocre, but Elle promises us that things will get better. Our sales are increasing every day and royalties are starting to come in. I’m hoping that I can move out of Quinn’s house soon and into my own place. It’s not that I mind sharing with him and Nola, it’s that I want to finally have something that’s mine. Something I’ve paid for myself, with my own money. I’ve never owned my own anything. Even the car I drive is leased.