8
Jamie
It’s a rare occasion for me to call out sick. Normally, I can manage with a sniffle, a cough or whatnot. Nothing really keeps me down since I get my flu shot like clockwork… nothing except for the sight of Ajay Ballard. Telling the staff that I’m taking the rest of the day off not only stunned them, but left a few scratching their heads, wondering how they’re going to manage without me.
Coping, it’s what we do when we hit a bump in the road. We ride the wave and move on, waiting for the next obstacle to step in front of us. We hope that we’re better prepared or can handle the challenge. Preparation for whatever life throws your way is key. It’s one thing to know your ex is back in town and planning on stopping by your work, but it’s something else entirely when you’re taken by surprise. No preparation means you stumble to find your words. Words that have been festering in your mind for years, things you always thought you’d say to him when you saw him again. I always thought that when Ajay and I crossed paths again, I’d punch him in the face, and maybe even spit on him. Okay, the spitting is a bit much, but in my mind I’m a mafia princess and that seems like the right thing to do to an enemy because that’s what Ajay is to me, the enemy. He’s from the other side, the wrong side. The side that wasn’t raised right or with respect for others. The side that I completely fell in love with the first time I met him. Thinking that and remembering how I used to feel makes me want to go back to Bailey’s and punch him in the face for good measure. Just so he knows I mean business.
Would he care? Probably not. Maybe? I don’t know. He seemed like he wanted to say something but didn’t or couldn’t. Was he tongued tied because his perfect girlfriend — or wife — was sitting across from him? She was very matter of fact, telling him that he wasn’t drinking. I found that comical. She has his balls in a vise and I want to applaud her, but I’d be afraid the real me would show up and I can’t have that. The wall I have up is there for a reason and needs to stay there. At least for my own sanity.
My house is quiet as I stand in the dimly lit living room. The voices inside my head are screaming. One telling me to go find Ajay and talk to him, find out why he left the way he did. The other part of me is saying, “Who cares? What’s done is done. The past is the past and we should move on.” I could be the bigger person, strike up a conversation and ask him how things are. Ask about his new family and whether he has… No, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to him to know that I still care about him. He doesn’t deserve my thoughts or the tears that are leaking from my eyes.
Even though Ajay has never been to my house, it feels like he’s everywhere. I can see him sitting on my couch with his arm causally draped over the back cushion with his right ankle resting on his other knee. He’s wearing a hat and a flannel. His jeans are worn in and he tells me that he needs to buy a couple of new pairs and wants to know if I want to go for a ride. I say “yes”, because I’ve always told him yes, and then Evelyn walks in and Ajay’s pissed. No, he’s not angry. He’s hurt because she’s not his and because I was with someone else.
He has to be okay with that.
He left me.
He chose a different life.
I don’t even know why I’m thinking about him meeting Evelyn. There’s no need and I can’t imagine we will ever be in the same spot as him. Besides, once his legal issue is taken care of, I’ll never have to see him again.
I finally move from my spot by the door and into my dining room where I sit down with a heavy sigh. Pulling my phone from my pocket, Fletcher’s name is the third down my list. I press his number and wait for his secretary to answer. Fletcher’s that guy, the one who won’t answer his cell phone while at work because he’s afraid of giving off a bad impression. I know other lawyers that he works with get irritated with him, but I respect him for sticking to his guns. Nothing worse than being on your personal phone while your work phone is ringing.
“Prineville County.”
“Hi, LouAnn it’s Jamie.
“Oh honey,
you just missed your father. Do you want me to see if I can get him on the radio?”
The benefit, or maybe it’s a drawback, of living in a small town is that there’s one person who knows everything and for us that’s LouAnn Jerrish. She’s worked for the county since she graduated high school some eons ago and is the main operator. Chances are, if you call to talk to the police, a district attorney or need some information, you’ll get her.
“No, ma’am, I’m calling for Fletcher. Is he free?”
“One moment, sugar.” She puts me on hold. Normally, I don’t mind the elevator music that plays while I have to wait, but today, it’s just prolonging the inevitable.
“Fletcher Oakes,” he says into the phone.
“How long did you know?”
He sighs. “Hey, Jamie.”
“Don’t ‘hey, Jamie’ me, Fletch. How long?”
He pauses, likely wondering how he’s going to get out of this. “Let me call you back.” He hangs up and before I can even register frustration about it, my cell phone rings. “Tell me about your day,” he says.
“Fletcher, I don’t have time for this.”
“Well you need to humor me until I’m outside and across the street.”
“Oh,” I say as I realize what he’s doing. “Today was shitty. Everything started off great though. Evelyn was happy until I told her she couldn’t drive to school.” He laughs. He’s a damn good uncle to my girl but right now I want to strangle him. “I closed last night so opening was easy until…”
“Until Ajay Ballard walked back into your life?”
“Fletcher, how long?”
“This morning, when I arrived at work. There was a file on my desk and an emergency hearing.”