Now that I finally have some time to myself again, I take Valerie out for lunch since she’s been a total trooper about everything going on. She decided this was the best time to tell me she’s pregnant with baby #2. I could have sworn she had the first one a year ago. Was it really before Kathryn and I got together? I mean, I know her son is talking and walking now, but… Jesus, I’m old.
“I don’t know much beyond the supposed due date,” she says with a grin on her glowing face, “so at some point we need to talk about my upcoming leave.”
“Hopefully it won’t be too soon. A man needs to adjust to these changes.”
“I already told Kathryn I expect you two to get married before I go on maternity leave. I fully expect to be involved with that, you know.”
She’s fishing for a reaction, and she nearly gets one. Anytime someone brings up marriage with Kathryn, you bet your ass I react. Luckily, I’ve gotten better about reining these pesky reactions in so I don’t give them the giddy freakout I really want to espouse.
Probably because I’m worn tired thinking about marriage. In an ironic twist of the gender wars, I’m the one sitting around wanting to get married while my intended cups my balls in distraction.
What’s happened recently is a big example of why we should get married sooner rather than later. I don’t want to be caught in that shit situation again, going in either direction. Kathryn and I should always have easy access to each other, wherever we are. In truth, neither of us have much family. Many would argue that we’re the biggest family the other person has. They’d be right. I’ve got my mother and father, both of whom I love and get along with, but I want a family of my own. Even if that definition of family means Kathryn, me, and our cats. Oh, and our personal assistants coming and going with their copies of our keys. Oh, and my mother barging in whenever she feels like it, thanks to the key she stole from one of our assistants.
It sounds lovely. We’ve toyed with the idea of moving in together when Katie’s lease is up on her apartment next year.
Except things are slow with the love of my life. It took a long time to get her to admit her love for me. It took her longer to feel comfortable being my public girlfriend. She’s got her issues like anyone else. I try to be patient and understanding, but sometimes a man wants to get fucking married!
Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes. My assistant has told me she wants me married as soon as possible.
“Consider it a done deal if you manage to convince her to go through with it.” I finish my coffee with a smack of my lips. “I’ll give you a bonus, too.”
“No offense, Mr. Mathers,” sure, she says my name all formal-like, but her tone is so casual I could cry, “but if you and your money aren’t enough to get a woman to marry you on their own, then I don’t think there’s much I can do.”
She’s joking, but she still has a point. Damn her.
“Consider it a standing offer. If you convince Kathryn to marry me, then I’ll give you the sweetest bonus you’ve ever dreamed of.”
“Why, a million dollars? You’re too kind!”
I would, too. What the hell is a million dollars to me if it means Kathryn’s my legally wedded wife?
Well, if it could buy her happiness too, that would be nice.
Valerie looks over her shoulder. There, in the far corner of the crowded café overlooking Tokyo’s busiest crosswalk scramble, is Kathryn, typing away on her laptop. Think she’s writing her fifth grant of the year. Don’t ask me which charity. I can’t keep up.
“She’ll be on to me, you know.” Valerie stirs a pinch more sugar into her tea. “The more I bring it up, the more she’ll know I’m a plant sent by you.”
“Good. Keep her on her toes that way.” I lean across the table and lower my voice. “Hey, if this kid’s a boy, you should name him after me. Scare the pants off your husband.”
My joke does not faze her. “He’s already told me he doesn’t care if it’s actually your kid, because then that means a big fat payday for all of us.” Don’t worry, folks. I’ve met Valerie’s husband countless times. The work-at-home dad is big enough to kick my ass from here until next year if he felt up to it. Either that or suffocate me with his giant lumberjack beard. He also cracks a mean joke, like Valerie takes every joke hurled in her direction with a smile. It’s like Jack Capetti to joke about his wife having an affair with her billionaire boss. Last I heard, he reads those books like Fifty Shades. Probably drooling at the thought of a money-infused cuckold. Damnit, now I’m turning into them. “We’ve got two tuitions to save up for now. Also, I’m expecting an internship for one of them.”