“Holy shit, I’m so sorry to hear that.” Eva lets me cry it out some more before continuing. “Yeah, Japan doesn’t fuck around with that shit. You can’t buy your way in like you can here.”
“Why the hell not!”
“Well, for one, they don’t even know who you are there.”
“They don’t know who I am in California, either, but it never stopped me before.”
“Kathryn.” Now I know Eva is not giving me the Mom tone. Not only is she younger than me, but I’m the logical one! Most of the time. Half? “It’s going to be fine. He had an allergic reaction but will get better soon. They’ll let you see him before you know it. Go back to your hotel room and try to relax. Leave him a message if you have to so he knows you stopped by. Hell, girl, go out and get some donuts, but don’t hang out at that hospital when he’s not even dying. You’re only going to make it worse.”
“You don’t get it. What if it was Nadia?”
“First of all, I’m used to being fucked in that department because everyone hates the gays visiting each other. I’d have to pay double than what you usually do to make that magic happen.”
Usually I’d apologize for not thinking that through, but tonight I’m such a mess that I don’t care if I offend her or not. You know, the woman who totally gets me and knows where I’m coming from in this matter. “Then you pay it! At least it’s an option!”
“Seriously, Kathryn, you’re not doing yourself any favors hanging out in a place where nobody understands you. Go back to your room, get some sleep, and go back tomorrow. That’s all you really can do right now.”
She can suck my non-existent dick. You can’t tell me for five minutes that Eva Warren wouldn’t tear this place inside out if her girlfriend were stuck in a hospital bed with no one to watch over her. Eva is as protective as I am – maybe more so! It’s that domineering side of our personalities. Besides, wouldn’t Ian do the same thing for me? Hell, he’d find a way to buy this hospital and bypass every national law in order to get to my bedside. If I were him right now, I’d want me. As soon as possible.
What kind of girlfriend am I if I go home when he needs me? At least I can say I’m as close to him as I can get. Who knows, maybe he can sign some kind of privacy waver so I can see him. Our lawyers would kick our asses for the second time this year, but it would be…
Wait.
I hang up on Eva after she grumbles about wanting to go to bed. My thumb smashes every button it can find as I dive deep into the documents of my phone.
It’s almost heartbreaking that half of these photos are either selfies with Ian or pictures I took of him when he wasn’t looking. For a while, my wallpaper was a shot of him looking out the window of a panoramic-view restaurant as we ate lunch and talked about absolutely nothing that mattered. That’s one of the last pictures I see before I find the one I want.
Regret is going to get me sooner rather than later. Right now, however, I can’t bother to feel an ounce of regret in my body. This is too important. My brain is on fire. My heart is alit with worry. I’ve spent this whole God forsaken day convinced that I was never going to see Ian again. That he had left me. That he was robbed and left for dead. Things I knew couldn’t possibly be true, but those goblins have a habit of eating away all reason in your mind, you know? Fuck that. I’m Kathryn Margaret Alison. If I can’t use my money and my social training to get what I want, then what good is everything I’ve ever worked for?
These people are going to let me see Ian. Right now. Even if I have to lie to their faces.
The thing that scares me the most isn’t that I’m lying and breaking the local laws. It’s that I’m not even lying to myself.
Growing up a privileged bitch teaches you a lot of things. Some of those things you actually learn in the classroom – assuming you go to the best private and boarding schools in your country, which I did. You don’t learn how to be the best liar at the country club from going to school, however. You learn it from your cutthroat mother who honestly believes the lies she spews. That’s the real trick, isn’t it? You have to believe the crap you’re spewing. Otherwise, why would you expect anyone else to?
So I fill my determination with the knowledge that what I’m saying is true. The fact I don’t even doubt it is something I’ll have to face later when this bullshit finally passes.
“Excuse me,” I say to the nurse still on duty at the station. There are two other Japanese nurses with her. They had been going over a stack of files when I stepped up. All those files close so efficiently that I have a brief moment of admiration. That’s quashed when they give me their best the fuck are you doing here? faces. “Do you speak English?”