‘Yes, it is. And my way of supporting you is to draw that line and stick to it. You...you’ve only been to one official function and that seemed...stressful for you.’
‘Yes, it was stressful. You got hit with a stun gun.’
Hugo shrugged. ‘I meant the bit before that. The dress and everything...’
‘It was my first time, of course I was a bit
stressed.’ Nell frowned. ‘This isn’t about me, is it?’
‘It’s all about you, Nell. It’s about my not taking you for granted, and giving you the room to have your own career.’
‘It’s about Anna.’ His real fiancée. Nell felt a sudden stab of jealousy, knowing that the ring she wore was the symbol of an agreement, not of love.
‘Anna’s in my past. We’ve been finished, in every way, for a long time.’
‘Yes, but what happened isn’t finished. You can’t let go of the idea that Montarino is your duty, and that you can’t escape it. Or that your duty is incompatible with having a partner who has a career.’
‘No, I can’t. Because that’s the truth of it, Nell. Believe me, I’ve tried and it doesn’t work.’ His voice was suddenly cold. Nell knew that she was pushing Hugo too far, into places that she’d resolved never to go with him. But if that could break them apart then maybe it should. Because it was an issue that they could only avoid for so long.
When had she started thinking about the long-term? Their engagement was one of convenience, and they’d agreed that three to six months would be enough. They’d decided to part after that.
But that was before they’d slept together. They’d promised that it would change nothing, yet it had changed everything. And suddenly Nell saw that while Hugo was kind and honourable, and Martin was neither, she would still always have to play the mistress with Hugo. His first loves were his work and his country, and he would never truly believe that there was room for her in that situation.
Nell deserved more than this. At the very minimum, she deserved his honesty. Hugo had almost deceived himself into thinking that it could work between them, but in truth he’d been careful to show her only one side of his life. Just as their engagement had sheltered her from the press, he had sheltered her from the realities of sharing her life with a prince.
Much as he wanted to, he couldn’t do this to her. He couldn’t take away her independence, and her career, and watch her fade and wilt in the bright light of his responsibilities.
‘Nell, we agreed.’ He didn’t want to say it, but he had to.
‘Yes, we agreed. A three-month engagement and then we go our separate ways.’ As usual, she was ahead of him. The connection between them, which up till now had been a conduit for love, seemed now to be pushing them inexorably towards a parting.
‘I’m fit and well now. And you’re safe from the lies.’ Was that really all there was to their relationship? A convenience? It had started out that way, and it seemed that it was going to end that way.
‘So you’ll go back to your life, and I’ll go back to mine.’
‘I think that’s best for both of us.’
She turned away from him suddenly. As if she didn’t want to even look at him any more. ‘Fine. We’ll do that, then.’
‘Nell...’ He hadn’t wanted things to end like this. Maybe he should have thought about that when he’d first reached out to touch her. ‘Nell, you can stay here for as long as you want. I’ll go to my apartment at the palace...’
She faced him, her cheeks flushed red. Even now, if she had cried, Hugo could never have let her go, but she didn’t. ‘I’m not your employee, Hugo. You don’t have to give me a notice period, I can leave whenever I like.’
Anger started to mount in his chest. If that was the way she wanted it. ‘Fine. I’m going to the palace anyway.’ He picked up his car keys and walked back outside to the car. Starting the engine, he pulled out of the driveway and onto the road.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
HUGO BROODED ON the matter for two weeks. Then he got on a plane and flew to London.
Nell’s flat was in a nice road, with trees on each side of it. As he got out of the taxi, he noticed that her front gate needed mending, and that the brass on the front door had been recently polished. It felt as if everything had suddenly shot into sharp focus.
A young woman answered the door and stared at him blankly.
‘I’m looking for Nell. Nell Maitland.’
‘Oh. She’s not here any more. Sorry.’ The woman made to shut the front door and Hugo wondered if he should put his foot against the frame. Probably not, it might scare her.
‘Please...’ The door opened again, and Hugo breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Do you know of any way that I might contact her?’