“I hope so,” she whispers. “I really, really hope so, Max.”
Chapter Seventeen
Madelyn
“So how was it?” Jess asks when I sit down opposite her in the cafeteria.
“It went really well. The professor said he couldn’t even tell I was nervous.”
Jess looks at me like I’ve just sprouted horns. “No. I mean, yes. Well done. You know I’m proud of you. But I was talking about the date, not the presentation.”
I look around the cafeteria. The autumn sunlight slants in, illuming the packed tables. Everyone is talking and I’m fairly certain no one can overhear us, and yet there’s still that prickle of paranoia.
“It was amazing,” I say. “He took me to a planetarium and we had a beautiful meal. We talked about the future. We both want the same things, Jess. We both want it so freaking badly.”
“And after?” She arches her eyebrow, a playful smile toying on her lips.
“He drove me home.”
My body thrums as I remember the kiss, as he pushed me against the car window and growled, his hand sliding up the inside of my leg. I parted my legs, ready for him to push his palm against my sex that had been needy and tingling all night.
But then he paused and leaned away. His face dead serious. “If we keep going, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”
I could hear the struggle for him to get the words out.
I nodded, understanding, even as a voice whispered.
Who cares about your dad?
Take Max upstairs. Take his seed. Take everything he has to give.
“We didn’t do anything,” I tell Jess. “I wanted to, but we made an agreement. We’re going to tell dad first. Things were so much easier when we were pixels.”
“Except you never had that look on your face when you only knew him in the game.”
“What look?”
Jess tilts her head. “Please, Maddie. That look. I’ve never seen you like this. It’s like you’re going to burst.”
“That’s fitting. That’s exactly how I feel. I felt ready, Jess. Last night. I don’t know what happened. Maybe it was how romantic it was. Maybe it was just being close to him. But I felt ready.”
“I think you should’ve done it,” Jess says.
I gasp. “Really?”
“I would have,” she says. “You both want each other. You’re not hurting anyone.”
“Well, except dad.”
She stares. “He’s a grownup. I know there are going to be some difficulties, but everyone involved is a consenting adult. I don’t think he has any right to stand in your way.”
“I’m sorry, but I think that’s complete crap.”
I try to keep my voice level. Jess is just trying to help, and truthfully I know I’m angry at myself, not her. But I go on anyway.
“I’m not saying Max and I are breaking the law or anything like that. But come on. Are you really telling me your dad wouldn’t be just a tiny bit peeved if you fucked his best friend?”
Jess holds her hands up. “I’m sorry. You know how sometimes I say things without really thinking them through? I think this might’ve been one of the times. You’re right. It’s a mess. But I still would’ve done it. I guess I’m not as honorable as you.”
“I’m sorry, Jess. I didn’t mean to snap.”
“It’s fine.” She smiles warmly. “I know you’re going through a lot right now.”
We eat quietly for some time, and then Jess looks up at me. “So when are you going to tell him?”
I grin. It’s just like Jess not to drop something. I wouldn’t have her any other way.
“I have no clue, honestly. Max wants to do it as soon as possible. And so do I, so we can move on with our relationship… God, I can’t believe I’m even saying that. Our relationship.”
“So tell him,” Jess says. “The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll know how your dad feels. And then you can plan for the future.”
“I know. I will. I just have to stop being a coward first.”
Jess opens her mouth to speak, but then her expression sours as she looks over my shoulder.
“What?” I ask.
“Just the world’s biggest douchebag heading straight for us.”
I turn to find Dirk the Jerk walking over with his tray, dressed in his letterman jacket as usual. He’s got that cold look in his eyes, coupled with the fake smile on his face makes him look like even more of an asshole.
“You fine ladies mind if I sit with you?”
“Yeah, we do, actually.” Jess scowls. “Why would you even want to sit here?”
“Look around. This place is crammed. Come on. Don’t be a couple of meanies.”
“The thing is, Dirk, it’s only a matter of time before you start acting like the dickhead you are. And neither of us is in the mood for that.”
“Hey. I can be nice.”
He places his tray down and sits without saying anything else.
Jess gives me a look, Should we move?