“How can you . . . I mean . . . how do you . . . ?”
“Go out with so many different men?”
“Yes.”
“After a while, they all look the same to me. I don’t have sex with all of them, M, if that’s what you’re wondering about. Some really are just looking for an escort, someone to make them look better at an event. It’s an ego thing.”
She paused and looked away and then turned back to me.
“I shouldn’t say they all look the same. I’ve been with some very nice men, elegant men, men who treat lovemaking like a symphony. At least, that was the way Mrs. Brittany put it when I began. They’re gentle, loving, and tender and then, like in some musical piece, bring it to a crescendo. You know, like in the movies when they show fireworks going off when people make love.”
She paused again.
“You have a look on your face that reminds me so much of Papa.”
“I’m sorry. I . . .”
“It’s all right. I know who and what I am. See, this is why I didn’t want to talk about myself right now, M. You understand?”
“Yes.”
“It won’t be the same for you. I mean, sex and love. It will be different, better.”
“Can’t it ever be for you?”
“I don’t know.” She smiled. “He’d have to be one helluva liberal-minded guy.” She sat up. “I could get used to having my coffee brought to me every morning.”
“I would do it.”
“I know. Look, we’re going to change things for you, M. We’ll get you into a new school. You’ll meet a new crowd of friends, everything. I’ll get you out of Snob Central, and you’ll be able to wear the clothes I bought you, too.”
“I can’t wait. You going to be all right today? Because I can stay home. It’s no big deal.”
“To do what? Take care of me? Believe me, I went through worse in the early days before I hooked up with Mrs. Brittany.”
“You ever going to tell me about all that?”
“Someday, when you’re desperate for nightmares,” she replied, and I laughed.
“I’ll see you later.”
“We’re going out tonight. A new place,” she called after me.
“Great,” I shouted back, and left the apartment.
We were having a beautiful spring morning in New York. The air was fresh and the breeze gentle, bringing hints of the warmer weather to come. I felt like smiling at people on the street and enjoying my walk.
How strange, I thought. I felt buoyed up because of our heartfelt and candid conversation that morning. I was full of new hope for Roxy and myself, even though we had both had a very bad experience, and in my mind, neither of us was well out of the difficulties that Mrs. Brittany could create. Last night was only the beginning of what could happen.
I smiled, thinking of how Chastity Morgan would react if I ever told her about it. The danger, of course, would be that she would spread the story so fast that it would reach Dr. Sevenson’s ears. I had no doubt that she would put the child-protection service on us and get me away from Roxy. Maybe Aunt Lucy or Uncle Orman had left her their phone numbers just in case anything untoward occurred. She could call them, and despite Uncle Orman’s threat, he would have me brought to them and locked up in their world. No, I had to be very careful about what I said to Chastity or anyone else.
That didn’t bother me right now. I felt above it all. The prospect of leaving for a new school soon and our vacation trip to Paris to see Uncle Alain put even more bounce in my steps. My whole demeanor changed when I entered the school building that morning. I said hello to classmates who thought looking at me would turn them into pillars of salt, raised my hand frequently in my classes to answer questions, and even though no one invited me, sat with other girls in the cafeteria.
Chastity couldn’t help herself. The dramatic change in my behavior stirred her curiosity. She had to approach me to ask how everything was. I should have snubbed her. Look at the trouble she had caused by telling Evan and the others about Roxy. But I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing it.
This time, instead of re
plying with a grunt or a monosyllabic “Fine” or “Good,” I went into a vivid and enthusiastic description of the services at the hotel that were at my beck and call, the wonderful meals we had brought up for our dinners, including those delicious pastries she loved, and the luxury of Roxy’s apartment. I explained all I was learning about fashion, the boutiques we explored, and the clothes Roxy had bought me, clothes I certainly couldn’t wear there. Then I went into reviews of some of the restaurants Roxy had taken me to for dinners and lunches. Finally, I told her we were going to Paris for our vacation.