Smiling at me, she kissed my forehead and said goodnight. I couldn't help but be worried. Whatever she was about to do, to begin, was something that would have a major effect on Baby Celeste. What could it be and why wasn't I told. too? What if it was a big mistake and resulted in our losing Baby Celeste? I needed the comfort of spiritual voices. It had been so long since I
had felt and seen Daddy near us. Did that have to do with Noble and his situation?
Mama was being secretive, I thought. and I was frightened of secrets. Secrets could lead to betrayal. It was always difficult to keep anything from Mama, and even if I did. I wasn't confident. I believed she truly had the power to see into my heart. The only thing I had not told her lately was what I believed about Noble, about his suffering and his need to have his name returned to him. but I also knew that for me to listen to him, to help him, was to change
everything. Mostly, it meant Mama had to accept he was gone.
Would we ever dig up his grave and take my dress and amulet off him?
In nightmares I saw us both in the cemetery at night. I was digging and Mama was crying so hard. When the grave was uncovered and we could see him, he opened his eyes and reached up toward us. Mama screamed and I fell forward into the grave.
This recurrent nightmare always woke me. I would sit up in a sweat and calm my thumping heart while I listened for anything in the house. I longed for Daddy's voice and the touch of his hand. If I longed hard enough, he would come and he would tell me it was all right. Everything was going to be just fine. Go to sleep.
Would he be here tonight? I wondered. Does he know about Mama's secret plan?
The Grandfather clock chimed below. It sounded like the countdown to doom. I lowered my head to the pillow and I waited and listened.
But I heard only silence. Even the house was holding its breath.
Tomorrow, I thought, tomorrow will bring answers and hopefully not just more questions.
Mama said nothing more the next day. however. We all went about our daily routines. She left for town late in the morning so I had to come in and be with Baby Celeste until she returned. When she did, she had more than just groceries this time. She had gone to a department store and bought other things to wear, including new shoes. She didn't unpack them in front of me, but brought them up to her room and closed the door.
It made me more nervous and I could hardly do my work in the garden without
stopping every few minutes to look toward the house and wonder what was happening.
Just before the end of the afternoon when she usually called to me to come in and wash up for dinner. I heard the front door open and close and saw her come down the steps. She was wearing a bright blue, off-shoulder dress and she had her hair brushed back and tied behind her head with a white and pink ribbon. It amazed me how quickly she could look younger when she wanted to do that. She looked my way so I gathered up my tools and quickly hurried back to the house.
As I drew closer. I saw she was wearing earrings as well and she had a necklace of pearls I had not ever seen. She was wearing lipstick and some rouge.
"I'm going for a walk," she said. "Baby Celeste is still napping. When she awakens, you can finish setting the table. I have a meat loaf all done."
"Where are you going?"
"I just told you Noble. I'm taking a walk."
"But..."
"But what?" she asked, her eves searching my face, scrutinizing me. "It's getting late and it will be dark soon."
"So? Don't you think I'm aware of that?"
"Yes, but..."
"But what? What?" she screamed.
I swallowed back my question: Why would she dress up and put on makeup to as for a walk? She didn't put on makeup to go to town or to stores.
"Okay," I said.
She nodded and walked down our long driveway. I watched her from the porch until she reached the road and turned left.
Where could she possibly be going? And why?
A movement to my left caught my attention. I turned and saw what looked like Daddy walking into the forest. I started to call to him, but he was gone as quickly as he had appeared.
Something had called him back into the shadows. Did it have something to do with Mama, with her plan? On the lower thick branch of the tree he had just passed sat the large black crow I often saw. He stared back at me and was so still he looked stuffed. A sense of great anticipation hovered over everything. It made me feel as if I were in the eye of some great storm,