It was fun being with Fanny when she was happy, and I could forget, when laughter and happiness spun all around me, all that had gone before. It wasn't Fanny's fault that she was what she was, any more than it had been Troy's fault that he'd been what he was. And maybe there were excuses to be made even for Tony, if I would let myself forgive him--but he had robbed me of Troy. To show Grandpa the time of his life gave me great joy. Again and again he told me how much fun he and Annie were having.
"But we don't wanna wear her out," he warned around dusk, when the lights came on, and even larger crowds flocked in to mingle with the others. His bent legs began to falter, and soon his steps became a mere shuffle, and he began to pant breathlessly.
We were late when we reached the platform where Pa would have been giving his spiel. Already the main tent was packed, but Tom had sent us tickets, and in the nick of time the three of us made our way to three of the best seats under the main tent. Just as we sat, the band struck up a bright and lively tune, and soon, from between curtains that were drawn wide open, out of the wings and into view paraded a short row of Indian elephants in gaudy costumes, with pretty girls riding on their backs. Grandpa puffed out his chest when he saw Pa strutting center ring with his microphone, his voice cutting through the music as he introduced each animal and rider, and telling of the wonders yet to come.
"That's my Luke," shouted Grandpa, nudging Race McGee, who sat next to him. "Ain't he a goodlookin' man, ain't he though?"
"He sure don't take afta ya, Toby," answered a man who had gambled many a possession away playing poker with Pa.
By the time the show was half over, Grandpa was at such a pitch of excitement I feared he wouldn't live long enough to see the end. Fanny was almost as bad. She squealed, screamed, applauded, and from time to time she jumped up and down so much her bosom almost fell out of her low neckline. I wished to God she knew how to sit still and not make such a show of herself, but a show was what Fanny wanted to make. And she succeeded.
When the big cats slunk into the center ring to do their stunts to the command of the lion tamer I began to get nervous. I didn't enjoy the act. The big cats, made to do silly things like sitting on pedestals, embarrassed me. I kept looking for Tom and didn't see him. I wished the clowns would go away, they kept blocking my -view with their foolishness, distracting me from what I most wanted to see.
And then I saw Logan.
He wasn't even watching the lion act; he was staring across ten feet of bleacher benches loaded with people, gazing at me with the worst glowering frown. The moment our eyes met he hid that expression and briefly saluted. Seated next to him was the prettiest auburn-haired girl I'd ever seen. It took me four or five glances to recognize his companion as Maisie Setterton, Kitty's younger sister. Oh, oh, he was seeing her a great deal.
"Heard tell Logan's got himself engaged t'Maisie," whispered Fanny hatefully, as if she could read my thoughts. "Kin't see what he sees in her. Neva could stand natural redheads wid their pale skins that splotch so easily, an' neva heard of no redhead who wasn't loud-mouthed an' mean, even fake ones." "Your mother was one," I absently answered. "Yeah," mumbled Fanny.
Again she smiled over to where Logan sat next to Maisie, and her flirting smile quickly changed into a sharp look of anger. "Look at that Logan, actin' like he don't even see me, when he does, when he'd have ta! Why I wouldn't marry up wid no stuffy, serious no-fun man like Logan Stonewall iffen he were t'ask me on his bended knee, an' there weren't no otha men left alive on this whole earth but Race McGee." And here she laughed right in Race McGee's livid, fat face.
Soon all the acts were over, and still we hadn't seen Tom, only Pa. The crowd began to thin out, and Grandpa, Fanny, and I made our careful way to where Tom had told us he'd be waiting, but I didn't see him there. Only a tall, thin clown in an outlandish costume stood near the tent where the stars of the circus dressed. I stumbled over one of his huge, green shoes with yellow polka dots and red bows to tie them on.
"Excuse me," I said, stepping around his sizethirty shoes; then he was tripping me up again, and I whirled to snap at him. "Why don't you keep your feet out of my way?" That's when I saw his green eyes.
"Tom . . . is that you?"
"Why, who else is so clumsy, with feet so big?" he asked, pulling off his wild red wig and smiling at me. "You really look great, Heavenly! You really do!--but I wouldn't have known you if you hadn't told me about being blond."
"And what about me?" yelled Fanny, flinging herself at him. "Ain't ya got no sweet talk fer me, yer favorite sista?"
"Why Fanny, you're exactly as I knew you always would be, hotter than a firecracker!"
She liked that.
Fanny was in a wonderful mood. She pouted to hear Pa had already gone back to the hotel where his wife and son were staying and hadn't waited to see us. In a small tent chamber that reeked of rancid makeup and powder and greasepaint, Tom removed his makeup and changed into street clothes, while Fanny regaled all of us with stories I'd not heard as yet.
"Ya gotta come an' see my place!" she said several times. "Tom, ya gotta make Pa come, too. An' his wife an' little boy as well. It ain't no good havin' a pretty new house wid a swimmin' pool an' everythin' brand new an modern if nobody that's family don't come t' see it."
"I'm beat, really beat," said Tom, trying to smother a yawn, even IS-he assisted Grandpa to his feet. "And just because the show is over doesn't mean all the work is done. All this ground litter has to be cleaned up. All the concession stands have to be scrubbed down to pass health inspections. The animals perform half-hungry, so they'll want to eat. The performers themselves have to unwind, and I'm in charge of most of that . . . so I'll be seeing you tomorrow, and maybe then I can look at your new house, Fanny. But why the heck would you want to buy a house here?"
"Had me my reasons," Fanny replied sulkily. "An iffen ya don't come with us t'night, it's gonna tell me like a punch in t'face, that Heaven is t'only one who counts in yer life . . . an' I'll hate ya, Tom, hate ya fereva, if ya do that t'me."
Tom went along with us. Fanny's new, contemporary-styled home sat high on a hillside, directly across from the mountain where the log cabin was; however, the valley was too vast to look across, though when you hollered down into a valley, it carried far, far.
"Gonna live here all by myself!" stated Fanny emphatically. "Not gonna have no husband, no live-in lover, an' no boss of no kind. I'm not eva gonna let myself fall in love--I'll just make 'em love me--an' when I get tired of 'em--out they go. Just before I'm forty I'll snag me some rich fella an' keep him around fer a companion."
Fanny had her life plan well worked out, which was more than I could say for myself. Two Great Danes were soon freed so they could romp and play with Fanny, who had never really liked any kind of animal. "Gotta have vicious dogs like this now that everybody knows my ex sends me a bundle each month," she explained. "Every blasted man I hire is out to skin me!"
"Who would have ever thought Fanny Casteel would wind up living in something like this?" Tom said, as if to himself. "Heavenly, is this anywhere near as grand as Farthinggale Manor?"
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What could I say without hurting Fanny's feelings? No, all of Fanny's house could have been fit into one wing of Farthinggale Manor. And yet, this was a house to live in, to feel cozy in, to know every nook and cranny of.
I sauntered around, looking with interest at all the photographs hung on her walls. I stared to see Fanny at some beach with Cal Dennison! When my eyes swung to confront hers, she smiled wickedly. "Jealous, Heaven? He's mine now, anytime I want him, an' he's not so bad, 'cept when he's around his parents, then he's got no spine at all. Sooner or later I'll brush him off when he bores me one too many times."
By this time I was exceptionally tired. I wished, and not for the first time, that I hadn't let Fanny persuade me to come here.