"Yes." he said.
I dug the shovel into the grassy earth where I knew he lay buried in my dress. The around was soft enough, but the work was hard. I dug and I dug with such intensity and determination. I was blind to anything else. I didn't see the light go on in the house. I didn't hear the front door open and close. I didn't see the beam of the flashlight streak over the round until it found inc. I didn't hear Mommy coming quickly. I dug, and then I felt her gab my arm.
It surprised me so. I spun around.
She stood there looking at me, her face aghast, her mouth twisted, her eves wide. She spoke in a hoarse whisper.
"What are you doing?"
"He doesn't want to wear the dress, and he wants his amulet back," I said, looking to where Noble had been standing, but he was gone, lost in the darkness.
She shook her head and then lifted the beam of the light so it washed over me. In a moment she saw it all, my bigger bosom, my swollen stomach. I held my breath. My heart seemed to stop. I went completely numb. She reached out and ripped the shovel from my hands.
"What have you done?" she screamed, and then she dropped the flashlight and lifted the shovel with both her hands, raising it to bring it down on me.
I fell to my knees and waited for the blow, but it didn't come.
I looked up and, in the glow of the flashlight at her feet. I saw her frozen, her head slightly tilted, her mouth in a grimace. She was listening, and then she started to nod.
When she looked back at me, her grimace was a smile. She put the shovel down gently, and she reached for me.
"Come," she said. "Come back inside the house. It's all right. It's all right."
I rose slowly and hesitantly took her hand. She saw how frightened I was, and she put her arm around me.
"Everything will be all right." she whispered.
The rain started to fall harder, but neither she nor I took note of it. Without another word, she led me back, her arm around me the whole way so she could hold me close. We entered the house, and she led me upstairs to my room. She sat me on the bed, and then she went to the bathroom and got a basin of warm water. She washed my feet, cleaning out any and all scratches and scrapes. Then she helped me off with my damp pajamas and wiped me down.
When that was done, she directed me to lie back. She put her hand on my stomach and stood there with her eyes closed.
"What a wondrous thing has happened" she said.
"What wondrous thing. Mommy?" I asked. How could she see it as anything else but a disaster?
She looked down at me in the strangest way. I felt she was looking through me, not at me. It was truly as if she didn't see me at all.
"Mommy?"
"You'll be fine," she said. "Everything will be fine. They have told me. It will be a miracle."
"What sort of miracle. Mommy?"
"No more questions. Rest and do as you're told," she replied.
After she left, I saw Noble gloating in the corner. Why was he gloating?
"What is it? What's the miracle?" I asked him. He just laughed.
My mind reeled with so much confusion. I felt nauseous. I closed my eyes and tried to meditate. but I heard him come to the side of the bed and bring his lips to my ear.
"I told you," he said. "You can be you."
He was gone when I opened my eyes and turned. There was only darkness. I was never more willing to sink into to a pool of deep sleep.
The next morning so much began to change. Mommy forbade me from doing any of the hard labor. I couldn't use the chain saw anymore. and I couldn't split wood or pile it. Even my gardening work was reduced. No more dining and bending. No more weeding. She modified my diet and gave me herbal pills she said were important for me, but she had that look on her face again. Her eyes were glassy, far-off. giving me the feeling she wasn't speaking to me. She was speaking to the baby growing inside me.
There were nights when she woke and came to my bedside because she said she had heard the baby crying. I was so confused the first time she did it. I asked her. What baby?