"Me? Hey, I'm not the one telling the world I'm a boy. and I'm not the one with a mother who says that. too. Here she made herself out to be such a goody-goody to my father and got me in deep trouble. I still want to know, who really disappeared? Did anyone, or was that some sort of lie. too?"
I didn't answer. I put on my underthings and my jeans quickly. He sat back to watch.
"Let me see how you hide those boobs." he said, "Go on."
I tried doing it with my back to him, but he demanded I turn around so he could watch.
"That's got to hurt." he said with a grimace. "Why do you keep pretending to be a boy?"
; I didn't speak. I continued to dress. He did. too. When Igwas finished. I starred away, and he caught up to me, seizing my hand to spin me around.
"Remember," he said. "Same time, same place tomorrow, or else. I mean it he threatened,
I lowered my head in defeat, and he laughed.
"Its not so bad. You're going to enjoy it more and more. I promise."
He released me. and I shot away from him.
"Hey," he called. "so what happened to that great dog? He find out what you are so you had to get rid of him or something?" he yelled and then laughed.
I charged through the woods and didn't realize until I was nearly to the meadow that I had left my leather-bound copy of Romeo and Juliet back there. but I wasn't about to turn around and get it. I was afraid he would mistake that for a desire to be with him if he was still anywhere near the now infamous special place. The book would be fine as long as it didn't rain, and it didn't look like it would tonight.
When I reached the meadow. I paused and then just sat myself down to cry. I sobbed and sobbed and then finally, my well of tears drained, stopped and just sat there staring at an anthill. I watched them working frantically. My thoughts went back to Noble and how fascinated he had been when he had discovered his first anthill.
Somehow, because of what had just happened, I thought I had betrayed him. I thought I had betrayed everyone and I would soon be punished for it. It was really my fault, after all, If I hadn't done what I had done. Elliot wouldn't have discovered me. I had pulled back a protective curtain and let someone outside of our precious world look in and see us as we were. What was I to do now?
I wiped away the tears that lingered on my cheeks, and then I rose and slowly walked toward the house, Before I went inside, however. I went to the old well, drew up some water, and washed my face. What I must do now. I thought, was tell Mommy everything. Surely she would be angry, but she would also 'mow what we should do, or she would ask for spiritual audience. What other choice did I have?
With my head bowed. I entered the house. I heard the melodic tinkle of one of Mommy's antique music boxes. and I walked slowly to the dining room doorway because it was coming from there. When I looked in, I felt the breath go out of my lungs. The room was decorated with crepe paper and with balloons, and sprawled in paper letters across the mirror were the words HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NOBLE.
Mommy appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. She wore an apron, and she looked very pretty with her hair brushed and pinned neatly. She wore lipstick, and she wore one of her nicest dresses, the light blue one with the sequin collar. The table was set.
"I told you I would do something special for you," she said.
I was stunned. I had forgotten it was my birthday. How could I?
"Remember that music box?" she said, nodding at the ivory box embossed with a seahorse in black. "My great-grandfather bought it in New York City for my great-grandmother Elsie. Recognize the tune? I play it from time to time on the piano."
"Yes," I said in a small voice. " 'Eine Kleine Nacht-musik' by Mozart." I said.
She blinked rapidly and then smiled.
"Yes. I would never guess you'd remember that. You were never good at remembering the music. Noble. How wonderful. I guess you are becoming a charming little gentleman. Go put on something nice for dinner and let's celebrate," she said. "I'm making your favorite meal, rack of lamb with mint jelly," she said and returned to the kitchen.
I stood there looking at the table and the birthday greeting. The music box played on. It tapped a new well of tears inside me. Before Mommy could see me crying, I turned and hurried upstairs.
I couldn't break her heart. I just couldn't.
I showered and then dressed in a nice shirt and pair of pants. Even after all that. I was unable to stop the trembling. I saw it in my fingers when I went to button my shirt. Every once in a while I had to fight off an urge to cry, and swallow back what felt like a ball of hard candy in my throat. When I went downstairs. Mommy was waiting at the table. She looked at me expectantly and gazed about the room.
"Well?" she asked.
I knew what she wanted me to say. She wanted me to say I saw Daddy.
"He promised," she added, almost in a whisper.