"You were fascinated. You got a long look at her. Don't tell me you didn't."
"It wasn't for that reason," I said.
"Sure."
"Get off me, please," I begged.
He thought and looked at me again, and then he released my wrists, but instead of getting off, he brought his hands to my breasts and fondled them.
"Nice." he said. "You could be pretty if you let yourself be what you art," he added.
"Please," I begged. His fingers continued to touch and squeeze.
"Why were you lying here naked? You were getting yourself excited, is that it?" he asked before I could reply. "Why waste it?" he added.
The fear I had felt before returned behind a drumbeat that echoed through my bones. He was smiling wider, his eyes full of lust. I shook my head, but he leaned back, still sitting on my stomach, and began to undo his belt buckle.
"Stop!" I cried.
"Why? You've got to know what you've been missing, what you probably want anyway. Who better to show you than me, your only friend?"
I shook my head, and then, when he lifted off me. I turned, but he pushed me down and brought his mouth to my ear.
"You better not get me mad,' he said. "I'll go right from here to the phone and tell the whole world what I have seen. You want that? Well?"
"No." I mumbled.
"Then stop fighting me," he said. "You won't be sorry. I promise."
I heard him continue to undress. I was sick with fear now, but in a strangely bizarre way, curious, too. It was almost like a baby putting her finger in a candle flame. Everything told her it was dangerous, especially the heat as she brought her finger closer and closer, but the light was mesmerizing and fascinating, and she could not stop herself until she touched it or it touched her and she screamed with shock and pain. Why was something so beautiful so harmful?
He turned me over so I was on my back again, and then he lifted my legs and put himself
comfortably between them.
"Feel that?" he asked. "That's what you pretended you had," he said and laughed.
I shook my head.
"Don't do this." I pleaded.
"Da what? How could I do this to you? You're a guy, just like me." he said, and he pressed on.
It was painful. I cried out, but my cries just made him more aggressive, it seemed. He was in me, pushing forward. I felt my whole body shudder. I kept my eyes closed just the way someone terrified of what was in the dark might, but at one point. I couldn't contain my curiosity, and I opened my eyes and looked at him. He had his eyes closed, and he was obviously in some ecstatic state. His body trembled, and then I felt him quiver inside me, which despite my fear and resistance made me quake as well.
Then he seemed to collapse over me, his breathing so hard and heavy. I thought he might die. Slowly, he lifted himself away and sat back.
"A friend of mine used to say that was like breaking in a horse." he said and laughed. "I promise you," he said as I reached for my clothing. it won't be half as bad next time, which means it will be twice as good."
"There won't be a next time," I said.
"Oh, yes, there will." he countered, and then he reached forgmy arm and pulled me back. "Yes, there will. Matter of fact, I want you here tomorrow, same time, same place."
I shook my head.
"If you're not here, everyone finds out what I know, understand? I'll be here. I won't wait a minute either. No show, everyone knows. That's the deal, get it?"
"You're a horrible person," I said.