"But --" She paused as if just realizing
something. She shook her head. "I couldn't see any
awareness in Noble's face, and it is his birthday. too.
Why wasn't he given a special gift?
That is it?" she asked, pounding her hand so
hard on the sink. I was sure she hurt herself. "What
am I doing wrong?"
"It's not your fault. Mommy. Noble's just not
ready," I said and held my breath. Whenever I talked
about Noble's failure, it was like walking on thin ice. She turned to me after a moment and told me to
join Noble and Mr. Kotes. I had the feeling she hadn't
heard what I had just said.
"If s your birthday, too," she told me. "You
don't have to work in the kitchen tonight."
"I don't mind helping you. Mommy."
"Just go. I need to be alone for a few moments,"
she said sharply.
I left feeling like I had been slapped. I certainly
wasn't feeling like the birthday girl. Mommy didn't
want me around her, and when I went into the living
room. Mr. Kotes and Noble paid little attention to me.
Suddenly Mr. Kotes had turned into a boy again, it
seemed. and Noble looked more comfortable and
happy about him than ever. When they actually got
the train going, they were both ecstatic.
As I watched them. I wondered, was Mr. Kotes
going to become our daddy? Was it terrible even to
think such a thing? He was doing everything our
daddy had done: helped make our party, bought us
presents. helped Mommy around the house, took us for rides, everything. What happens to people who die and get replaced? Do their spirits get shut out? Do