Mama came in and listened to them talk, too. She practically said nothing for a long while, but just sat there with that smile frozen on her face. When they laughed, she widened her smile or giggled as they did. Once again, she began to tell some of her awn college stories, even one about a boyfriend she had.
"You never said anything about him before. Mama," I interjected.
She laughed lightly like someone caught fabricating. "Your father is not one to appreciate hearing about my past love affairs, if you could call it that. It was just an infatuation."
I looked at Brenda to see if she was as disturbed as I was about Mama using the present tense in relation to Daddy, as if he were still alive and in the other room. She seemed not to hear. I don't think she heard anything. She was just staring at Celia with a smile on her face that mimicked Mama's.
We watched some television together. but Celia and Brenda interrupted everything with their silly comments. I was glad when they decided they were tired. Mama admitted to being tired herself, and everyone went off to bed, leaving me staring at the glowing box, not seeing or hearing anything in particular. I just wanted to be defiant and stay up longer than the rest of them. I wasn't going to sleep simply because Celia yawned, That was for sure.
Finally. I gave in. I didn't realize just how exhausted I was until I crawled under my blanket. I think I was asleep less than a minute after my head hit the pillow, but for some reason, my eves snapped open about two-thirty in the morning. It was almost as if someone had nudged me.
My room wasn't that dark, because there was a full moon, and it was just in position to send its rays full blast at my side of the house. The shade lit up, and shadows from the weeping willow tree outside danced over it, taking odd shapes and holding my interest.
Then I heard the distinct sound of a door opening. I listened hard and heard what I was sure were voices. Curious. I rose and went to my door, opening it slowly to peer into the hallway.
Celia was standing in Brenda's doorway. She was in a nightgown, her hair down over her shoulders and back. She was barefoot. I could just see Brenda inside. She was naked. It surprised me because I never saw Brenda sleep naked. If anything, she liked to wear Daddy's pajamas and, as far as I knew, still did.
I kept quiet. I couldn't make out anything they were saying. They were whispering now. Celia laughed and then quickly covered her mouth, and they both giggled. Whenwould I ever have a friend like that? I wondered sadly. I was about to close the door and return to bed, when Celia leaned toward Brenda. and they kissed.
Only, it wasn't a good-night best-friend kiss on the cheek. Oh, no.
It was a kiss on the lips, a kiss like a kiss between a man and a woman, romantic and held much longer than a good-night kiss should be held.
My own breath stopped.
Celia turned and looked my way. I felt the blood rush up my neck and into my cheeks. I froze. I couldn't close the door. Her gaze held mine for a moment, and then she smiled that angelic smile and returned to her bedroom.
Brenda didn't see me.
She closed her door softly. Celia closed hers.
And the only sound I heard was the drumbeat of my own heart as it marched my blood around my trembling body.
7 The Party
. Perhaps because of what I had seen and its effect on me. I fell into more of a coma than a sleep and didn't wake up until much later than usual. I had no real reason to make so much of what I had seen Celia and Brenda do. It was just a kiss. Maybe the way they kissed was their private joke. I had heard college changes you, and such unusual behavior could be something silly college girls did. I couldn't stop thinking about it, however, because of all the dirty jokes and nasty things boys said to me about Brenda in school.
By the time I showered and dressed and went to have breakfast. Mama told me Brenda and Celia had left.
"They left? But why didn't anyone wake me? I was supposed to go along," I whined.
"Really? I would have wakened you, but no one said anything," Mama told me.
"I'm not surprised," I muttered, even though if anyone really checked, they would know I hadn't told Brenda I wanted to go along for sure. I had been annoyed that she was even thinking of doing something without me. so I didn't act excited about the idea. I just had assumed she wouldn't leave without me. How could she not want to spend as much time as possible with me?
After all, it had been months since we had seen each other. "What do you mean. April?"
"Nothing," I said quickly. I didn't know what to say, since I didn't really know what to think.
"We
ll, we're all going out to dinner tonight. We all decided that we didn't want to eat leftovers after all," Mama said.
"We all decided? No one asked me."
"Don't you want to go out? Your father hates eating leftovers," she said, and then caught herself this time and added. "hated.'"
"Yes. I want to go out." I said.