“I was dealing with expanding the company,” he finally said. “And at that age I didn’t have nearly as much clout and wealth as I do now. The early years of Dover were tough going.”
“Of course.” She sighed heavily. “This is what I was afraid of. That’s why I kept the truth from you and let you believe I was someone else. The truth has been out for only a short time, and yet I’m already taking things too personally. I’m sorry for lashing out.”
“Don’t worry about it. Tensions are pretty high. And you were right, I should have tried harder to engage Mattis,” he admitted. “It’s just...”
“Just what?” She turned to look at him again, the agitation on her face vanishing.
“It’s just that, all day I’ve been thinking about you,” he said. “About us.”
“Us.” The way she said that one word made his pulse race like crazy.
“I have no right to think in those terms,” he said firmly. “No right to want anything with you.”
“Simon, do you only want me because you can’t have me?” she asked.
It was a bold question. One that knocked the wind out of him. That couldn’t be the reason he was so drawn to her. He knew that she was probably still pining for her ex, but that wasn’t the reason he desired her.
“I want you because you’re such a mystery to me,” he admitted. “Every time I think I’ve figured you out, you surprise me. You excite me. You always have.”
She laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been described that way by a man. Certainly not by Gary.”
“Gary is a fool,” he said forcefully. “Any man who would let you go is a fool.”
“You let me go once,” she reminded him.
He set his hand on the railing and slid it over to hers. Then, he covered her small hand with his, needing to touch her skin. Needing to know that she was real. Because if he had ever conjured up a woman who would haunt his dreams, he couldn’t have created anyone more perfect for that than Heather.
“I was a fool, and now I’m paying the price for it,” he said. “You still want your ex-husband. And that’s all I could think about today. That’s why I was so distracted. So uninterested in talking to Mattis. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I can’t stand your ex-husband.”
“You’re jealous.”
“I am.” Coming clean like this was the hardest thing he had done in years. Jealousy was the kind of primal emotion that was totally foreign to him. Revealing that much to her put so much control in her hands. Heather had the ability to ruin him. Upend his life. Destroy his career. And, worst of all, she had the ability to smash his heart into a million pieces. Knowing she still wanted her husband was ripping him apart.
But she had the right to know at least this. Because he was her boss and she the subordinate. He would grant her as much power as humanly possible so that she could be safe. Protected.
“Tonight is our last night here,” she breathed. “Which means, the chance for us to...be together again is over.”
Her cheeks turned so pink that he could see her blush, even in the waning light.
“Over?” He wanted to reach out and stroke her cheek. But that was too risky out here. No matter how high off the ground they were, the place was still crawling with tech reporters. Tech might be their beat but everyone liked a good scandal, and this would make one hell of a scandal.
He pulled his hand away from her, the absence of her touch leaving him cold. As he headed back inside he said, “Come inside. We shouldn’t talk like this out here.”
“Does it have to be over?” he asked her.
Placing her hand on his arm she gazed up at him, her hazel eyes on fire. “No. It doesn’t. At least, not until we get back to Seattle.”
“One more night?” he asked. “If you don’t want to, I completely understand. You have every right to turn me down.”
“I don’t want to turn you down,” she said. “I want you, Simon. Right now. We’ll never have a chance like this again. Let this be the last time we do this. Let this be our goodbye to each other.”