By nine-thirty she’s yawning every other minute, so she changes back into her own clothes and I take her home. She’s smiling and sleepy when I kiss her goodbye at the front door. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Yah aksar day. Did I say it right?”
“Slightly mauled,” I tell her with a grin. I have every reason to smile now, and I can’t help myself. “But still beautiful, ängel. I love you, too.”
She pokes me in the chest, laughing. “I’ll get it right. Night-night, runemaster.”
I smile the whole way home as I drive. There’s a text message on my phone when I walk in the front door. It’s from Chris Petrou.
We heard Lacey laughing when you dropped her home. We’ve missed that sound.
I smile as I type my reply. Me, too. Goodnight, Chris.
“How was your therapy session?”
We’re sitting on the sofa at my house. Lacey’s just eaten her dinner in the greenhouse and now she’s got her legs over my lap. I put a marker in The Asia Minor Journal of Antiquities and lay it aside.
Lacey takes a deep breath. “Good. Doctor Loftin says I should talk about them with you, actually. Do you mind?”
I smile and shake my head. “Of course not. Where is your anorexia right now?”
“She’s right here with me, doing her thing.”
I study her face, searching for signs of fear. It’s been three weeks since Lacey and I started seeing each other again. We’ve been taking things slowly, as we promised each other. She spends a few evenings a week and usually a whole weekend day at my house, but she hasn’t slept over yet.
“Tell me what she’s been saying to you.”
Lacey purses her lips and fiddles with the hem of her dress. “The usual things. She hasn’t been overwhelming yet, but that’s because I haven’t tested the limits she’s set for me.”
I would like to start doing that, but I’ve been waiting for her to suggest that we go somewhere new, or have a sleepover, or try eating together. Trying not to seem too interested, I wait for her to go on.
“My homework is to start introducing new experiences one by one, and practicing letting what she says to me flow off my mind like water. Maybe we could do something together. If you want to.”
I kiss her hair. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. How about we go on that date I suggested? The aquarium on the river.”
Lacey smiles at me, and rests her cheek on my shoulder. “That would be perfect. It’s Saturday tomorrow. We could try then, maybe?” She pulls out her phone and works out how long it will take us to get into Central London and then walk over to the aquarium. “If we spend just thirty minutes at the aquarium, I can make it back home in time for lunch.” She looks stricken, as if she’s worried that the idea is stupid after all. “I’m sorry. That’s not very long.”
“Tómr ok munu,” I tell her. “Slow and sure.”
Lacey caresses my cheek, and then kisses me. “Tómr ok munu,” she whispers back.
The next morning, I pick her up and we get the train into Waterloo and walk over to Southbank and the great wheel of the London Eye. There are already crowds forming, and I hold firmly to Lacey’s hand. I walk slowly. If all we have is five minutes looking at the fish it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to rush her.
I watch Lacey’s face surreptitiously as we buy our tickets and head inside the aquarium. I’m looking for her lurking behind her eyes, and wondering if that nasty voice is hounding her because of the crowds, the unfamiliar place and people eating ice-creams and drinking coffees. But there’s only Lacey, the dappled water flickering over her face as she gazes up at the fish.
Around a bend, we come upon a vista of coral. Stingrays drift majestically overhead, and schools of bright tropical fish dart this way and that. We pause and watch them moving, their colorful bodies rippling. The water flows around them, soft currents making them sway and dip.
I move behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her against me. “What do you hear, älskling?”
“I hear the water. I can hear the children laughing up ahead. And I can hear you.” She takes a deep breath and lets it out in a happy sigh. “It’s so beautiful.”
I look down at her, and there’s not a trace of darkness in her face. She’s smiling as she watches the fish, their delicate colors reflected in her eyes.
Epilogue
Lacey
“Kneel. On your heels. Hands on your knees.”
I sink down before Stian on the carpet, naked except for the choker around my neck. From here I can see him sitting in his armchair, reading. A little to the left is the glass door to the greenhouse, filled with bonsai plants. He always makes sure I can see them and him when I’m on my knees.