It was a good lie—a white lie—and anything was admissible if it made her happy, gave her peace.
‘Look closely, Emma.’
And she did.
Looked at the one piece of work in which she’d drawn faces. Her mum and dad, smiling, walking hand in hand along the beach. A laughing couple with a little girl and boy, running ahead. She’d known even as she’d drawn them it was Beth, Jake and the twins.
‘How does this help?’ She stared at the images her mind had created, and all it did was tear her apart. Every landmark she had known was gone for ever now. ‘Beth and Jake are finished.’
‘I would have thought so, too; yet she has rung me several times to enquire about him—where he is going, what his treatment will be.’
‘It’s too big to forgive…’
‘I forgave you,’ Zarios gently reminded her. ‘Not that I needed to, as it turned out, but I had worked out that it was easier to forgive you than to lose you. Now, look closer, Emma.’
She frowned, scanning the picture, the surfers and the lady jogging, and the dog swimming in the ocean. Sometimes she hardly recognised her own handiwork, as if she disappeared into another dimension when she worked.
‘Look!’ Zarios pointed to a couple who were walking, the blonde lady smiling, the tall dark man beside her carrying a little girl on his shoulders, her dark curls dancing. ‘That’s us.’
‘It’s just a couple…’ Emma protested, but Zarios was adamant.
Pushing her gently down on her parents’ bed he held her in his arms as she stared at the picture she had painted—whether it was an image from her mind or a vision of the future she truly didn’t know, but there was peace to be had in wondering.
‘It’s us, Emma…’ He stroked the soft mound of her stomach, the gentle heat fading the last remnants of her pain, resting on their baby and telling it to stay for now where it was safe, that they’d meet it when they were all ready. ‘That’s our family.’
EPILOGUE
‘ARE the twins ready…?’ Jake’s voice trailed off as he walked into the lounge and saw that his wife had company.
‘Hi, Emma.’ He gave an uncomfortable smile and Emma did the same. ‘Zarios.’ Jake nodded to his brother-in-law and Zarios nodded back. ‘Congratulations.’
‘Thank you,’ Zarios answered. ‘Beth just gave us your gift and card—it is appreciated.’
‘You’re welcome.’
‘Do you want a drink, Jake?’ Beth offered, but Jake explained that he couldn’t stop. Emma thought that though to many it might seem strange that she and her brother were tonight guests in their late parents’ home, on the one-year anniversary of their deaths, it didn’t feel strange. It felt right.
Right that even if they weren’t here still Eric and Lydia looked after their family—providing Beth and their grandchildren with a comfortable home during these long tumultuous months, a roof over Beth and her children’s heads one thing she hadn’t had to worry about as her life had rapidly unravelled.
‘Well.’ Jake gave a wooden smile. ‘It’s good to see you both—congratulations again.’
The tension was broken a touch as the twins ran into the living room, clearly delighted to see their father. A flurry of kisses and an exchange of bags ensued, as Jake collected his children for his access weekend, but as he turned to go he spoke again.
‘Can I see her, Em?’
‘Of course…’ Emma held her breath as her brother crossed the room and stared down at his niece for the first time.
‘Hey, little Lydia.’ Jake stroked the petal of her cheek and Emma could see the flash of tears in his eyes. She hated how hard these months had been for him, and that he had lost practically everything—but she was proud of him, too, for turning things around. He had spent four months in rehab, then slowly entered the real world, and as everyone held their breath somehow Jake had held it together. Had found himself work, a flat, and had built from nothing a far gentler life than the one he had previously inhabited.
‘Do you want to hold her?’
He did want, and cradled his tiny niece in his arms.
Emma could feel the tears trickling down the back of her nose, and was grateful that Zarios didn’t take her hand—because any contact and she would have crumbled.
‘You forget how small they are.’ Jake looked over to his wife. ‘Do you remember—?’ He stopped talking then, regret etched on his features as he dragged his gaze back to his niece. Then a ghost of a smile dusted his features. ‘It’s a good job that you had a girl—I wasn’t too keen on having a nephew named Eric!’
‘Eric Rocco!’ Zarios joined in with the thin joke as Jake handed Lydia back to her mother. ‘I am glad, too, that it was a girl.’
Emma was grateful, too, that Zarios didn’t comment on the drive home—just drove quietly as she gazed out of the window, staring out at the view she would love for ever, before daring to voice what she was sure she now knew.
‘They’re going to get back together.’
‘I think so.’ Zarios didn’t take his eyes off the road.
‘What if he slips up? What if—?’
‘We’ll deal with it as best we can.’
We.
Which was so much stronger than I.
‘Thank you…’
Later, much later, when Lydia was bathed and fed and had finished humming herself to sleep in her cot, when they lay exhausted staring at the ceiling, Emma said what she’d been meaning to and thanked Zarios—not just for today, but for the infinite patience he had shown with her family.
‘I haven’t done anything yet!’ Zarios grinned.
‘I know it’s not been easy with Beth and Jake…’
‘Hey, we’ve got my dysfunctional family next weekend…’
He could always make her smile, always make her laugh, always make her want him. His parents lived as if on extended honeymoon, and, as Zarios had pointed out on occasion, if Bella was holding her breath for Rocco to die—well, she was earning her inheritance. His father was the happiest, the healthiest, the youngest he had ever been.
‘This year was the worst, and you’re through it.’ He held her so close she believed him—and tried to come to terms with the fact that the worst year of her life had also, somehow, been the best.
Seeds of hope were budding all around them—love and hope were beckoning from even the darkest of corners.
A chirrup from the cot had them both jumping.
Zarios padded across the floor and didn’t even try to scold the twelve-week-old madam who, despite a clean nappy, despite being fed and burped and fed and burped again, had no intention of sleeping.
‘Wide awake!’ He held up his daughter and black eyes met black eyes, both equally entranced with the other. ‘You’re ruining my reputation…’ He blew raspberries on her fat tummy, making Lydia giggle and coo, before placing her gently back in her cot, to stand the full hour it took before a certain little lady closed her eyes.
‘Go to sleep,’ he said when, on this most difficult night, Emma turned to him as, cold, tired and beyond exhaustion, he crawled in bed beside her.
‘I don’t want to.’ Smiling, she kissed his full mouth.
She would never let him go.
Would never deny the comfort they brought each other.
She needed this reformed reprobate just as much as he needed her. And knew that, despite a cruel year, life was invariably kind.
After all, they had found each other.