The finality of watching her brother walk away left her shaken. In the past, whenever Cain had visited her home with Silus, she always feared her husband’s mood might change. Sometimes it did and sometimes it didn’t. That was the problem with Silus; he never followed any one set of rules.
Eleazar’s hands rested gently on her shoulders and she instinctively leaned back into his strength.
“You care for your brother very much.” It wasn’t a question but an obvious statement.
“My family has suffered so much. I don’t think we can survive any more trauma.”
Eleazar pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Cain will be back in a few weeks, safe and well.”
He couldn’t make the same promise about her father.
She hugged him tightly. “This is different.”
“Different?”
She rested her cheek against his chest, drawing comfort from the steady beat of his heart. “I’ve never been with someone who soothes me when I’m troubled. I think I might become addicted to being by your side.”
His arms closed around her. “I think I might like that.”
He closed the door and lit a fire in the woodstove. Then, together, they put on a kettle and waited for the coffee to brew. It was such an ordinary, beautiful way to spend a snowy morning. It was a perfect start to their ever after.
Chapter 46
The thud of the Bible falling to the floor awoke Abilene with a start. Her eyes adjusted to the daylight and her ears caught the laughter of children in the distance.
Retrieving the book from the floor, she stood from the chair where she’d slept. Through the frosted window, she found a masterpiece of white as if the earth had been freshly baptized by snow.
Children sledded down wintery slopes and tractors slept under drifts. Trees drooped under the weight of ice, showing like crystals as the branches caught the morning sun.
A mantle of white shouldered the hills and fields. It was as if the world she had known yesterday had washed away. More certain than ever before, she sensed her husband’s soul now belonged to someone else.
Like the ground, encased in ice and hidden away, Abilene’s heart had been buried. A protective hand drifted to the front of her apron, dropping low on her abdomen, where she hid her secret well. The other female might have gotten Jonas, but she didn’t take all of him. Pray God, she not lose this one.
Her strength wavered and she needed to feed. Though her desire to keep living had faltered over the passing months, her devotion to her unborn babe gave her purpose again.
After adding wood to the stove and setting a fresh pot of water on the burner, she went upstairs to dress for the day. The house was cold and her bare feet chilled to the bone, but she couldn’t recall where she’d left her boots and stockings.
A draft caught her ankles that made her pause just outside of Cain’s bedroom. Her son had been gone for some time and she wondered if he returned.
Knocking softly, the door whined open. “Cain?” She frowned when she spotted the window open wide, snow dusting over the wood floor. “Cain?”
The room was empty and as cold as a tomb. She shut the glass and chafed her hands to warm her skin. As she passed Grace’s room, she found it empty and her daughter already gone for the day, likely off to feed the animals at dawn as she always did.
Weak with hunger and anxious for a warm cup of tea and a comforting bowl of hot oats, she hurried to her room, but as soon as she opened the door, she sensed she was not alone.
Her hackles rose as she scented another presence. She stilled and scanned the shadows. “Who’s in here?”
A jagged breath caught her ear. She rushed around the bed only to stagger to a halt at the sight of her husband crouched in the corner, tears of devastation in his eyes.
“Jonas?” His name was a ghost passing through her lips. How had she not recognized his scent? “Why are you hiding in the shadows?”
He opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out of his was a silent cry. Her heart broke and she fell to her knees, pulling him into her arms.
“Tell me what’s happened. How have you come here?”
Every grim exhalation spoke of the trauma he’d suffered, but he appeared incapable of speaking a word.
“It’s all right. You don’t have to say anything.” She pushed the hair from his eyes and cupped his face. “Are you hurt?”
He shook his head and sucked in a stuttering breath. His hand covered his chest and he shut his eyes, leaning his head into the wall. His suffering had such a poignant hold on her, she needed to help him.
“Come off the floor, Jonas. Let me help you to bed.”