“Yes.”
“That’s how you think to take my cancer away?”
He nodded but worried about the regenerated cells born of western therapy. Would they recognize him? He supposed he only needed the conformity of whatever remained of her soul.
“You would be young again. Ageless. And your suffering would end.”
She held up a withered finger. “Not so fast. Let’s assume this is actually possible. My grandchildren would age right before my eyes, their lives only a flash of my eternity. I’ve lost so many people I’ve loved. Sometimes, death is a natural and peaceful end where survival seems a burden and curse.”
“Yes,” he agreed painfully.
“If we did this, you would no longer belong to your wife?”
His throat constricted. “Correct.”
She took a moment to process the information then rested her hands on the arms of her chair and looked out the window. “Seems quite the curse. Can you give my grandchildren the same immortality you think to give me?”
“No. It only works on called mates.”
“Then I’m afraid I can’t help you. As much as I want to protect my grandchildren, I can’t bear the thought of watching them die. It’s right that my time comes before theirs. And now, it’s my time to die.”
“Then it’s my time to die as well.”
Appearing startled by his acceptance and statement, she frowned. “That’s not fair.”
“No one claimed any of this was fair.”
“You can’t pin your survival on me—”
“I haven’t. None of this was my choice. It’s God’s will.”
Her scowl hardened. “He’s really starting to piss me off.”
Jonas had always found such comfort in his faith, but recently he’d been adrift as if the compass he’d come to rely on no longer defined right and wrong. He was lost, having to choose a direction when his heart wanted to go one way and his soul another.
“I’m ready to die beside you, Clara, if that’s your will.”
“That’s not my will,” she snapped. “None of this is my fucking will, Jonas. If my will meant anything, my daughter would be alive, her husband would be alive, and I’d be sitting here with Arthur instead of you.”
He flinched at her scorn.
“I’m sorry,” she quickly apologized. “I’m sure you understand the frustration of being powerless in the face of destiny.”
He kept his gaze on the floor and quietly confessed. “They’ve all turned against me. Abilene has threatened to follow me into death if I don’t finish this and bond with you. If I leave this world, she will die, and my four children will be orphans.”
“Are your children all grown?”
“Gracie, the youngest, is in her twenties, but they are still very young for our kind.”
“And your wife would rather die herself than survive your death? She’d prefer to see you with someone else?”
“She loves me. This situation has broken her heart, but she still loves me and wants to see me happy.”
“Well, you don’t look very happy, Jonas.”
Lifting his gaze, he looked at her through a pained stare. “We would be. It’s not our place to know what the future holds. But called mates are predisposed to share a harmonious and happy life. It would be a natural consequence of the calling.”
“And what would happen to your wife?”
Too much emotion made any prediction impossible to swallow. “I don’t know. I imagine she would eventually move…”
“Well,” she said when it was clear he wouldn’t be able to finish the thought. “No need to torture you beyond what you’re already suffering. I get the picture.” She reached for a piece of paper. “This is from my attorney. Dane is still too young to act as the executor of my will, and I’m afraid the state will divide them the moment I’m gone. If Cybil doesn’t start talking soon, she’ll be especially vulnerable where bad people are concerned. So, I want her to stay with Dane so he can protect her.”
“You might be able to hear her thoughts if you transitioned.”
“That’s not what I’m suggesting. When the time comes, I want you to take my grandchildren away from here. Hide them on your Amish farm until Dane’s of legal age and can take custody of Cybil. He will have this house and whatever’s left of my estate once the government is through with taking their cut.”
“I… Without bonding, my return is unlikely.”
“Then get your son to do it. Cybil’s quite fond of him. Dane’s coming around. And I’m sure there wouldn’t be an issue with a dog like Colby on a farm.”
“Cain’s path is not mine to decide. He isn’t a male who easily follows directions. And he’s hardly on the farm anymore.”
“But you have three other kids. If you do this for me, if you give me your word that my grandchildren will be looked after until they’re of age and able to look after themselves, I will bond with you.”
His heart jolted in his chest. “Clara, if you bonded with me, you would be there to raise them too.”