He dragged himself into the cooling shade of the barn. His vision was slow to heal, leaving him with only the limited ability to see shapes of larger objects like the outline of trees and buildings.
He staggered through the shadows of the barn, waiting for the burning sun overhead to fade into night. Despite draining field mice in his desperate pain, his hunger continued to grow.
When animals came close, he hunted. Only, his lack of agility and sight cost him accuracy. When immortals passed the barn, Jonas cowered in the shadows and reflexively bared his fangs, trusting no one and believing friends were now his foe.
For even his children had turned their backs on him—an outcome he invited if it meant they would better protect their mother, but one that pained him all the same.
He was truly and utterly alone.
Once dusk came, he stumbled out of the barn and into the darkness, letting his heart and memory act as his guide. He located his home and could sense her beyond the walls.
He did not have to call for her. The front door swung open, and he stilled before reaching the steps.
“Stay back, Jonas. Do not come any further.”
His heart jerked with a cold snap against his ribs. Her rejection was a bullet into his dying soul.
“I only came to check on you, my sweet Abilene. And to tell you I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
“I’ll survive. For now.”
Glancing up at her shadowed figure, his eyes still suffering from the sun’s damage, he bathed in her distrust, wishing to revel in the pain so he might find the strength to walk away. Sorrow leaked from his eyes. “You fear me.”
“I fear what you’ve allowed yourself to become.”
“I’m still Jonas. Still your husband.”
She shook her head. “Not enough. There’s something else inside of you I can’t contend with. I can’t allow you inside this house again.”
He stumbled, the bark of a nearby tree scratching his arm. “I have news of our daughter.”
“What news?”
“Larissa has returned to the farm.”
Her silence was unexpected. “I don’t believe you.”
The breath left his lungs as he stared up at her, too blinded by the earlier sun to read her expression. “Abilene, I would not lie to you about such things.”
“You lied to me for months, Jonas. Your presence here is a lie. Your love for me is a—”
“Do not!” He drew in a harsh breath. “Do not call my love a lie. It’s the greatest force in my life, and I will follow it to my death.” He only had a few days left before he would no longer be able to survive the dawn. It wouldn’t take much to end this on his own, the mercy of The Council be damned.
“Then so be it, Jonas. Your death is mine. If that’s what you choose, I will follow you.”
Furious, he growled, “I will not allow it!”
“The only choice you have is to find your mate. By sacrificing yourself, you doom us both. I will not live with the guilt of your death. I will not let you put my life before yours. I love you too much. And, once you go to her…” Her voice broke, but she quickly recovered. “You will forget all the things you felt for me.”
“I could never.”
In the expanse of her silence came the finality of their fate. “That’s not your choice anymore.” The screen door whined as it opened. “Go now, and don’t you dare come back here, Jonas. Don’t you dare hurt me more than destiny already has.”
The door snapped shut, leaving him infinitely alone. Falling to his knees, he howled and pounded his fists into the cold earth. “Abilene! I will not do this thing! I cannot bear it!”
Collapsing to the hard earth as if seeking a grave, he beat his fists into the ground until his flesh bled and dirt clung to his tear-streaked cheeks.
Sobs wracked his body as hunger gnawed at him. “I love you, Abilene. There is nothing in this world more powerful than my love. Do you hear me? Do you?”
He clawed at his face, desperate to escape the prison of his soul, but there was no relief for the torture set to destroy him, no quiet space for his mind to rest. He was sentenced to an eternal hell.
Chapter 29
Larissa was beyond distraught as Eleazar led her out of the cellar—an area she had no idea existed until today—and steered her back toward the private quarters of his house.
“You should have never come down here, Larissa.”
Shaken, she wiped at more tears as they fell. “He wanted you to execute him, didn’t he?”
“That doesn’t matter. I refused his request, and The Council cannot grant such nonsense without my approval.”
She belligerently yanked her arm out of his hold. “It matters to me, Eleazar. What’s going to happen to my family?”