He shook in a fit. "What could you possibly want with a man like me? Tell me."
I cried. I felt so weak. I held his gaze, but my world was spinning. "Don't do this. You promised you wouldn't hurt me."
"I just need some time to think," he said.
I saw the pain in his eyes. Could he see the pain in mine? The betrayal manifested outward in physical rage. "Lucian, wait," I cried out.
He stopped but did not turn to face me. His breathing was quick, and I could sense that he was one step away from imploding. "I do not deserve a woman as beautiful as you."
"We need to help your brother," I insisted.
"My brother? H
e is beyond helping. You want answers? Make him tell you where your father is."
He turned the corner and walked down the stairs.
Fear struck my heart. He was my rock. He was the man who’d found a way to end the cycle of my pain. We were supposed to find freedom together. We were supposed to start a new world, but now it felt like our foundation was falling out from underneath.
I slid my back against the wall and fell into a deep sadness. Was it possible that my mom had lied to them to make them feel better? In my memories, she was a noble and loving person. The kindest soul there ever was. It was hard for me to believe that she would lie to everyone for the will of some large and mysterious corporation.
The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced he was wrong and just needed to sleep it off. The coordinates had to lead to somewhere important.
According to him, all of this was supposed to be connected. I took a deep breath and hung my head. This wasn't going to be easy, but we couldn't give up on our dream. I would drag them both there if I had to.
Kahn called out to me from his bed. "He’s always been a stubborn bastard, but he'll come around," he said.
I was still able to laugh. I walked back into the room and leaned against the wall, smiling. "Always?" I asked.
He nodded, face covered in sweat. Looking at him, it was obvious that the infection had nearly killed him. We had managed to get the bullets out, but the antibiotics were over a decade old, and nothing in this place was sanitary. He was lucky he was recovering, but we'd still need a few days.
He parted his dry mouth and chuckled. "He never listened to Father. He would rather take a beating than comply with his rules," he said.
I grabbed a clean towel from the pile and sat down next to him. I felt his forehead and soaked up the beads of sweat. "Tell me more about your brother. The good things," I said.
He coughed. "I'm going to die, aren't I?" he asked me.
Defiantly, I shook my head. "No. We're not going to let you die."
He shut his eyes and forced a smile, but it didn't last long. "I probably would have let Lucian die," he admitted. "I guess I haven't been the best brother to him."
"Don't worry about that. Focus on the good," I said.
He exhaled and nodded, turning his vision back to the ceiling fan. "The good. Right," he whispered. "Growing up, we used to have the biggest backyard. We had a pool for the summers, and my father used to invite everyone in the neighborhood over to grill and soak in the sun."
"That sounds wonderful right about now," I said, taking another syringe to his arm. "Tell me more."
"Our father was a good person. A nice person. He was boisterous. You understand? He would tell loud stories and make everyone in the room laugh. He would look at our mother like he had just won the lottery. Those were our golden years." His eyes seemed to light up the room. "Lucian and I would play soldier for hours. We would run through the citrus trees with our toy guns, blasting at the enemy. It would always end with a round of mortar explosions. We would jump in the pool, and duck under as imaginary flames covered our heads. We used to laugh so loud, and the smell of the grill would cause us to disband our weapons.”
I choked up and looked away for a moment. It was hard seeing him like his, and even harder hearing him speak about the past. There was so much that we’d lost out on. I could hardly remember living in a real house, but they had the chance to make some real solid memories together. I wished I had the same. "I'm sorry for what happened," I whispered.
"It was an accident," he said. "No one can be blamed."
I heard Lucian's footsteps behind me, so I turned. He looked hurt and sorry, and I knew that he just needed time to process everything. "Maybe we can fix it all," he said, walking toward his brother. "Maybe we can right the wrongs of the past. We are brothers, after all."
Kahn reached out and took his brother's hand. "I don't know how long I'll live, but I need to tell you something."
"Spare it. You're going to be fine, dammit," Lucian said.