"And by doing so, you put me in danger,” I argued.
He swallowed, Adam's apple catching his collar. But instead of trying to make it better, he merely stood there, unable to tell me the whole truth.
Since we’d packed up our things in the suburbs and moved to the middle of nowhere, I had lived in fear.
There were things out there. Beasts without names. Monsters that somehow knew every last detail about me. Fucking demons.
I had no proof he had been stalking me, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes. I could have sworn he was waiting for me to find him. Well, I’d found him, and I had no idea what to do. I just knew we weren't safe anymore. My whole world was coming down around me.
Maybe they had names. I grew up with few books, but my father told me about shape-shifters. Men born with the ability to turn into animals. But, Jesus Christ, that was no animal, and there was definitely no shifting going on there. It had to be some kind of… God?
"Lilly, I—"
My father knew every last thing about them. He had to know. As I stood, waiting for the answers that I needed, he didn't say a damn thing.
As the words caught in his throat, he closed his mouth and sighed. So instead of arguing, I left.
I walked into my room and swung the curtain closed behind me. I ignored all of his pleas for me to come out and talk to him. I waited for him to tell me what I had seen, to explain how this came to be and why he chose this terrible place for a homestead. Of course, that explanation never came. With tears in my eyes, I watched as the soles of his boots disappeared out of view.
Who was my mother? How did we lose her? Those were the questions that penetrated my heart at night. And whatever answers lay buried underneath the forest soil, I prayed they would be unearthed.
I turned and eyed my bedside dresser. Neatly stacked on top were books about science. They were all from my mother's collection.
The one on top of the pile was about Tesla coils and structures of infinite power. The book claimed they were inefficient models of energy creation, but my mom had left all sorts of confusing footnotes inside. Clearly, she disagreed, but none of it made any sense to me.
I wasn't a scientist, and most of the literature went over my head. That didn't matter. Whenever I opened those books, I felt closer to her.
Next to the book was an old, framed picture. It was taken a year before she passed. I was just a tiny baby, wrapped up and crying on my mother's lap. With eyes that glowed a bright heather green and hair that reflected fire, she was easily the most beautiful woman in the world.
Directly behind her was my mustached father. He was happy. We were happy.
Someday, we'd find that source of happiness again.
I took the photograph in my hand and turned it over, examining the thin pen markings left by my mother. It was a short note that I looked at often, a note to me, which read,
"Find me in the center."
I never understood what she meant, but as I sat staring at the RV's ceiling, I felt her in my heart.
I sat up, set the picture down, and reached into my drawer, finding my old Walkman. Quietly, I rolled out of bed, listening for my father's delicate snoring. He was already asleep, which meant I could do what I'd never done before: walk back over the line.
This place used to be our Eden. But it had been corrupted.
I couldn't stop listening to the howl of the wind whipping through the trees. I couldn't get the image of that beast’s pulverizing body out of my head. I imagined him silently sneaking through my window, forcing his hand around my mouth so I wouldn't be able to scream. I lay in bed, paralyzed with fear, knowing exactly what he wanted from me.
Now that he had seen me, I was a target to be taken, rutted, and discarded. I was the only female dumb enough to walk that deep into the forest.
I knew my dad couldn't protect me from his force. If I stayed put, he’d surely cross that divide to find us.
I took a deep breath. I was going to have to hunt him before he hunted me.
Every movement I made creaked the RV, but I managed to slide my win
dow open without disturbing my dad's deep snores.
I hoisted myself up and rolled through the narrow enclosure, falling hard on my back. I picked myself up, shot one glance at my home, and bit my lip. "Well, Mom. I'm doing this for you," I whispered as I wiped the dirt from my pants.
As I left my once safe and narrow world, I breathed in the cold air and felt my body fill with dread. But there was life inside of me. I was filled with purpose and direction. For the first time in so long, I felt light on my feet.