In my dreams, I was a different woman, living in a different world. I lived in a humble town with a hunk of a man who vowed to stay with me forever. We had a child. It seemed like we had everything.
It was a fantasy, no doubt, but it was one worth clinging onto. Out here, things were a little different. The air was pure, but the land was harsh. Unfortunately for us, we were starting to experience changes in the animals’ migrating patterns.
“C’mon. I said get up,” Dad growled. “The deer won’t wait around to be eaten. We don’t have much time.”
As I struggled to get out of bed, I tried to remember the details of my slumber. I seemed to lose recollection with every second that passed.
The dream was an illusion that my mind had tricked me into believing—because love wasn't an option anymore. Not here, at least.
The world was struggling, but it wasn't a revelation that I relished in. Dad told me the people in the city would eventually run out of resources. Soon, we would be the only ones left with the knowledge to survive. We had our garden, the deer, and enough fresh water from our well—as well as the nearby rivers—to last us a lifetime.
Even with the right infrastructure in place, things could go wrong. I went over those things over and over in my head. For instance, rising sea levels could have flooded us out.
Sometimes, it was difficult to believe in our safety. Especially after what happened with my mom.
"I'm up," I groaned and picked at a knot in my hair. I felt dirty and completely unattractive, but who did I have to impress?
My dad ran his fingers through his unkempt beard before opening the front door. The cold wind filtered through my auburn hair. Life was supposed to be a gift.
A gift to inhale clean air.
A gift to smell and take in all of the natural surroundings.
But today, that gift came with a whole lot of reluctance.
The truth was that we were both tired of living a life built on the idea of survival.
My dad looked out and sighed. "If you're ready, I'm going to need you to search for tracks. Heard a call coming in from the east side, just south of the Divide. Looks like they're back," he said.
I smiled and felt a rush of relief hit my stomach. "Deer?" I asked.
"That is correct. God has favored us this season," he said.
"They won't survive," I said. “The weather isn’t hospitable for them here. They won’t be used to it.”
“Don’t matter,” he muttered.
He swung the hunting rifle over his shoulder and walked out of the RV. With every step, I could feel the interior shake.
I ran after him and nearly tripped over the exit. In the distance, I could hear the call of an elk.
"Don't dwell on the destruction," h
e said, breathing in deep. "We knew this would happen. Sooner or later, a flip was bound to switch. I told you, things are changing. Earth. This climate. It won’t be long, now."
"You didn't tell me it would happen so soon," I muttered.
He placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "It's not an end. It’s a new beginning."
But I couldn't see it as such. Most of the time, I felt betrayed by him. Betrayed by the fact that he’d brought me here.
Betrayed by the fact that Mom was still gone, and I could never see her again.
I didn't even know where she was buried.
"Sure seems like an end," I said, walking ahead of him with determined speed. "Either way, it's nothing to celebrate."
I wanted a real family. I wanted a life. Most of all, I craved a man who could take me away from this shit-hole.