Eliza pulled her emotions back into line like a ball of loose yarn being wound up rapidly and tightly. ‘I can’t marry you, Leo. You have to accept that. Once the month is up I have to come back to my life here. I’ve already promised Samantha to spend the last couple of weeks of the holidays with her and Ewan.’
‘You do have a choice. Damn it, Eliza, can’t you see that? You’re locking yourself away out of guilt. It’s not going to help anyone, least of all your fiancé.’ He sent his hand through his hair again. ‘I suppose that’s why you took the money. It was for him, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes…’
‘Why didn’t you ask for more?’
‘I was uncomfortable enough as it was, without exploiting your offer.’
He gave an embittered laugh. ‘Let’s say it how it was. It wasn’t an offer. I blackmailed you. I can never forgive myself for that.’ He moved to the other side of the room as if he needed the distance from her to think.
‘I’m sorry…’ Eliza broke the silence. ‘I’ve handled this so badly. I’ve made it so much worse.’ She took a deep shuddering breath as she finally came to a decision. ‘I’m not going to go back with you to Italy tomorrow. It wouldn’t be fair to Alessandra. It will make it so much harder when the month is up.’
He swung around to glare at her. ‘What…you’re just going to walk away? What about the contract you signed? Are you forgetting the terms and conditions?’
‘If you decide to act on them, then I’ll have to face that if and when it happens.’
‘I’ll withdraw my offer for your project. I’ll tell the bursar I’ve changed my mind.’ His jaw was clenched tight, his eyes flashing at her furiously.
Eliza knew it was risky calling his bluff but she hoped he would come to understand this was the best way to handle things—the cleanest way. ‘Will you say goodbye to Alessandra for me? I don’t want to wake her now. It will only upset her more.’
His look was scathing. ‘I never took you for a coward.’
‘It has to be this way.’
‘Why does it?’ His eyes flashed at her again. ‘Are you really going to stand there and deny that you love me?’
Eliza steeled herself as she held his gaze. ‘I have never said I loved you.’
A muscle flicked in his cheek and his eyes hardened. ‘So it was always just about the money.’
‘Yes.’
His lip curled mockingly. ‘And the sex.’
She gave him her best worldly look. ‘That too.’
He sucked in a breath and moved to the window overlooking the leafy street below. ‘I’ll have Marella send your things to you when we get back.’
‘Thank you.’ Eliza moved past to collect her things from the suite.
‘I won’t say goodbye,’ he said. ‘I think we’ve both said all that needs to be said.’
Except I love you, Eliza thought sadly as she softly closed the door as she left.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ELIZA SPENT THE first week with Samantha and Ewan in Suffolk in a state of emotional distress so acute it made her feel physically ill. She couldn’t sleep and she could barely get a morsel of food past her lips. Every time she thought of Leo or Alessandra her chest would ache as if a stack of heavy books was balanced on it. But she had no choice but to keep what she was feeling to herself as Samantha was still dealing with her heartbreak over the hopelessness of Ewan’s situation.
But towards the middle of the second week Samantha seemed to pick herself up. She had even been out a couple of times in the evening while Eliza sat with Ewan. She hadn’t said where she was going or whom she was going with and Eliza hadn’t asked. But each time Samantha returned she looked a little less strained and unhappy.
‘Darling, you don’t seem yourself since you came back from the nanny job,’ Samantha said as she watched Eliza push the food around her plate during dinner. ‘Is everything all right? Are you missing the little girl? She’s rather a cute little button, isn’t she?’
‘Yes, she is. And yes, I do miss her.’
‘What a pity she’s blind.’ Samantha picked up her glass of lemonade. ‘But that’s not the worst thing that can happen to a person, is it?’
‘No…it isn’t.’
‘I would’ve loved a daughter,’ Samantha said. ‘Don’t get me wrong—I loved having a son. No mother could have asked for a better one than Ewan. And I’ve been so fortunate in having you as a surrogate daughter. I can’t thank you enough for always being there for me and for Ewan.’