On the way back to the marina after breakfast, Leo glanced at Eliza, who was sitting with his daughter on her lap, holding one of her little hands in hers with an indulgent smile on her face. To anyone looking from the outside, she would easily pass for Alessandra’s biological mother with her glossy mahogany hair and creamy toned skin.
Although he had paid an enormous sum of money to engage her services as a nanny, he suspected she would have been just as dedicated if he had paid her nothing. She seemed to genuinely care for his daughter. He had seen her numerous times when she hadn’t known he was watching. Those spontaneous hugs and kisses she gave Alessandra could not be anything but genuine.
Even his housekeeper, Marella, had commented on how much happier Alessandra seemed now that Eliza was there. Truth be told, he had found it a little unnerving to see Eliza’s relationship grow and blossom with his daughter. He hadn’t planned on Alessandra getting so attached to her so quickly. He had felt confident Alessandra’s relationship with Kathleen would override any new feelings she developed for Eliza.
And, as much as he hated to admit it, the villa did seem more of a home with the sound of laughter and footsteps going up and down the corridors. Eliza had enhanced his daughter’s life in such a short time. Her swimming lessons and her trips to the beach had built his daughter’s awareness of the world around her. Eliza’s competence and confidence in exposing Alessandra to new things had helped give him the confidence to take this outing today. She had shown him that he could afford to be more adventurous in taking Alessandra out and about more. His little girl might not be able to see the things he so desperately wanted her to see, but she had clearly enjoyed the sunshine and the fresh air and the sound of the water and the sea birds. How much more could he help her experience?
But how could he do it without Eliza?
When they returned from the trip to London there would be less than ten days left before Kathleen returned. She had emailed him and told him she wasn’t going to stay in Ireland with her family after all. A couple of weeks ago he would have been thrilled by that announcement.
But now…he wasn’t sure he wanted to think about how he felt.
Eliza hadn’t been wearing her engagement ring but he had noticed it swinging on a chain around her neck a couple of times. She took care never to wear it when they were in bed together but it irked him that she still clung to it. He knew she wasn’t in love with the guy and yet he didn’t like to fool himself that she was in love with him instead.
Their arrangement was purely a sexual one, not an emotional one. He was happy with that. Perhaps happy was not the best choice of word—content, satisfied…
OK, frustrated was probably a little closer to how he was feeling. He always felt as if she gave everything of herself physically when they were together but there was a part of her that was still off-limits.
What perverse facet of his personality craved that one elusive part of her that she refused to offer him? It wasn’t as if he loved her. He had sworn he would never allow himself to be that vulnerable again. Hadn’t he learnt that lesson the hard way in childhood? He had loved his mother and look how she had walked out as if he had meant nothing to her.
He flatly refused to let anyone do that to him again. He had been caught off guard with Eliza four years ago. The sudden death of his father had left him reeling. He had seen something in Eliza that had spoken directly to his damaged soul. He had felt as if they were kindred spirits. He knew that it sounded like some sort of crystal ball claptrap, but it had stayed with him all the same—the sense that they had both experienced bitter disappointment in life and were searching for some way of soothing that deep ache in their psyche. Their physical connection had transcended anything he had experienced before. Even now his body was humming with the aftershocks of their lovemaking last night. No one pleasured him the way she did. He suspected no one pleasured her the way he did, either.
But she wasn’t going to stay with him for ever. He wasn’t going to ask her to. He would have to let her go when the time was up. He would have no need of her as a nanny now that Kathleen was coming back.
And those other needs?
Well, there were other women, weren’t there? Women who wanted what he wanted: a temporary, mutually satisfying arrangement with no feelings, no attachment and no regrets once it was over.
He had lived the life of a playboy before. He could do it again.
Eliza was sitting on deck with Alessandra fast asleep against her shoulder as Leo docked the vessel when she caught sight of a photographer aiming a powerful-looking lens their way. ‘Um…Leo?’