He held her gaze in a stare-down that made the base of her spine fizz like sherbet. ‘My only regret is I didn’t see you for what you were at the outset. You’re a classic chameleon. You can change in the blink of an eye. I had you pegged as an old-fashioned girl who wanted the same things I wanted. But you were not that girl, were you? You were never that girl. You were a harlot on the hunt for sensory adventure and you didn’t care where you got it.’
‘Why is it such a crime for a woman to want sensory satisfaction?’ Eliza asked. ‘Why does that make me a harlot? What does that make you? Why are there no equally derogatory names for men who want to be satisfied physically? Why do women have to feel so bad about their own perfectly natural needs that you men seem to take for granted?’
‘What’s wrong with your fiancé that he can’t give you the satisfaction you want or need?’
The question was like a punch to her chest. ‘I’m not prepared to answer that.’
‘Does he even exist?’
Eliza looked at him numbly. ‘What?’
‘Is he a real person or just someone you made up to use as a get-out-of-jail-free card?’ His eyes were hard as they drilled into hers. ‘It’s a handy device to have a fiancé in the background when you want to get out of an affair that’s not going according to plan.’
She swallowed against the lump in her throat. Ewan did exist, but not as he used to be. And it was her fault. His life was as good as over. He would never feel the things he used to feel. He could never say the words he used to say. He couldn’t even think the thoughts he used to think. He existed…but he didn’t. He was caught between the conscious world and the unconscious.
‘You’re so fiercely loyal to him. But is he as loyal to you?’
Eliza lowered her gaze as she fought her emotions back down. ‘He’s very loyal. He’s a good person. He’s always been a good person.’
‘You love him.’
She didn’t need more than a second to think about it. ‘Yes…’
The silence hummed with his bitterness.
How was she going to survive a month of this? What good was going to come out of his attempt to right the wrongs of the past? Nothing could be gained from this encounter. He was intent on revenge but they would both end up even more damaged than they already were. She couldn’t fix Ewan and she couldn’t fix Leo. She had ruined two lives, three if she counted Samantha.
And what about her life—the plans she had made were nothing but pipe dreams now. She wouldn’t be able to have the family she wanted. She wouldn’t be able to have the love she craved.
She was trapped, just like Ewan was trapped.
Eliza turned to the nursery, desperate to get away from the hatred she could feel pouring out of Leo towards her. ‘I’m going to check on Alessandra. She should be awake by now.’
‘My daughter’s orientation and mobility teacher will be here at ten,’ he said. ‘Tatiana works with her until lunchtime twice a week. You can either have that time to yourself or observe some of the things she is helping Alessandra with. I don’t expect you to be on duty twenty-four hours a day.’
Eliza looked at him again. ‘Aren’t you worried that she’s going to be upset by my being here for such a short time? It sounds like a lot of people are coming and going in her life. It’s no wonder she gets upset and agitated. She doesn’t know who is going to walk in the door next.’
‘My daughter is used to being managed by carers,’ he said. ‘It’s a fact of life that she will always need to have support around her.’
She held his gaze for a beat that drummed with tension. ‘I meant what I said last night. I think you should get Kathleen to call her each day. It will give her something to look forward to and it might make the time go a little quicker for her.’
His jaw seemed to lock for a moment but then he released a harsh-sounding breath. ‘I’m not sure if Kathleen will be back. I got an email from her this morning. Her family want her to move back to Ireland. She’s still thinking about it. She’s going to tell me what she’s decided in a couple of weeks’ time.’
Eliza swallowed. ‘Does that mean you’ll want me to stay longer?’
His gaze became steely as it nailed hers. ‘Your contract is for one month and one month only. It’s not up for negotiation.’
‘But what if your daughter wants me to stay?’
‘One month.’ The words came out clipped through lips pulled tight with tension, those bitter eyes hardening even further. ‘That’s all I’m prepared to give you.’