The more Leandro reflected on that teenage relationship, the more he suspected how imbalanced it had been. Miranda was a sucker for romance. She had always been the type of girl who cried at soppy movies, or even at commercials with puppies or kittens in them. She had a big heart and gave it away all too easily. He didn’t believe she had been truly in love with Mark. At sixteen who knew what they wanted or even who they were? She had wanted to feel special to someone and Mark had offered her that chance. Mark’s parents had welcomed her into the bosom of their family and it had made her feel normal.
Normal was important to someone like Miranda. She didn’t enjoy the notoriety of her father and mother and the baggage that came with it. Mark’s illness had cemented her commitment to him but Leandro truly believed their relationship would not have lasted if Mark had survived.
But was sleeping with her himself going to convince her she was wasting her life?
He had crossed a boundary he couldn’t uncross. Their relationship would never be the same. They could never go back to being platonic friends. The intimacy they had shared would always be between them. Would other people see it? Did it matter if they did? Her brothers might have something to say about it but only because they were protective of her. They might even be quite glad he had encouraged her to live a little.
He hadn’t coerced her into sleeping with him. They were both consenting adults. He had given her plenty of opportunity to pull back. But he was glad she hadn’t. Making love with her was different somehow. It wasn’t just her lack of experience, although he’d be lying if he said it hadn’t delighted him. It had given their union a certain quality he hadn’t experienced with any other partner. Their love-making had had an almost sacred element to it. Or maybe it was because he had opened up a part of himself he had never opened before. He had never shared the pain of his childhood with anyone before. He had never shared his loss. He had never shared his guilt. He had never felt more exposed as a man, yet Miranda’s gentle compassion had reached deep inside him like a soothing balm on a raw and seeping wound.
Miranda stirred in her sleep and he watched as the dark fans of her lashes flickered against her cheek. She slowly opened her eyes and blinked at him owlishly. ‘What time is it?’
He brushed her mussed-up hair off her face. ‘Three-thirty or so.’
She stroked one of her hands down his bare chest, making every cell in his body stand to attention. ‘Couldn’t you sleep?’ she asked with a little frown of concern.
That was another thing that set her apart from his previous partners, Leandro thought. She genuinely cared about him. Worried about him. Put her needs and interests aside to concentrate on his. He smoothed her frown away with the blunt end of his thumb. ‘I got a couple of hours.’
She lowered her gaze from his and tugged at her lower lip with her teeth. ‘Is my being in your bed disturbing you?’
Leandro cupped her face, bringing her gaze back up to his. ‘Only in a good way.’
Her cheeks developed a pink tinge. ‘I could go back to my room if you’d like...’
He ran an idle fingertip from behind her ear to her chin, watching as she gave a little shiver, as if his touch had sent a current through her flesh. It thrilled him to think his touch did the same things hers did to him. That their bodies were so finely tuned to each other that the mere brush of a fingertip could evoke such a response. ‘That would be a shame,’ he said.
She licked her lips with a quick dart of her tongue, her toffee-brown eyes luminous. ‘Why?’
‘Because I wouldn’t be able to do this,’ he said, lowering his mouth to hers.
Her arms went around his neck as she gave herself up to his kiss, her soft little sigh making his blood pound all the harder. He deepened the kiss with a stroke of his tongue against her lips and she opened on another sigh and nestled closer, her lower body searching for his. He put his hand on her naked bottom, drawing her to his straining erection. The feel of her skin on his skin made him want to break all of his rules. The condom rule in particular. But he never had unprotected sex. That was one line he never crossed. He pulled back to get one from his wallet, mentally making a note to replenish his supply.
Miranda looked at him with her clear brown gaze. ‘Do you ever make love without a condom?’
‘Never.’
‘What about for oral sex?’
The thought of her gorgeous mouth surrounding him made him rock-hard. But he would never pressure her to do it. ‘Always,’ he said.
She rolled her lips together for a moment. ‘Do you want me to...?’
‘Not unless you want to,’ he said. ‘It’s not for everyone.’