He rested his forehead on mine. “I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way.”
I slowly moved my legs, and Bishop withdrew from my body, leaving me feeling instantly empty.
He rolled off the bed and looked back at me. “Wait here.”
I nodded and stayed exactly where I was, looking around the space that once used to be my bedroom. What would happen next? Where would we go from here?
I knew Bishop was in the bathroom, most likely asking himself the same question.
I heard him turn on the faucet. After a few moments, he walked back into the bedroom, and I took in his beautifully chiseled body. His broad shoulders led to a slim waist. Those washboard abs were just as impressive now as they were the first time I saw him naked—more so, if truth be told. His muscular legs flexed as he made his way over to me, a washcloth in his hands.
“Let me clean you up, Abs.”
My heart skipped a beat. I dropped my legs open, and he pressed the warm cloth to my body.
“Abs, I have to ask you something.”
“Anything,” I replied.
His gaze lifted and met mine. Oh, how I loved those blue eyes of his. “Are you on the pill?”
My entire body froze. I hadn’t even thought about how Bishop would feel about birth control. He might have forgiven me, made love to me, but would he want to pick up where I had abruptly cut us off?
He clearly saw the worry on my face, because he tossed the washcloth to the floor and pulled me into his arms. “I’m not upset, Abs. And I don’t want you to be either.”
I turned my head to look at him with what I was sure was a shocked expression on my face.
“First, I need you to know I’ve never had sex with anyone without protection,” he said.
There was no way for me to avoid the sick feeling I felt at the mention of Bishop being with anyone else. I had seen it with my own eyes, and the memory of it came rushing back. I pushed it away and stared down at my hands.
Bishop placed his finger under my chin, lifting until I met his gaze. I forced a weak smile. “I’m sorry. I know I have no right to feel the way I do, but I can’t help it.”
“I’d feel the same way if you said you had been with someone else.”
I swallowed hard and answered his question. “No, I’m not on the pill.”
His face showed zero emotion, so I had no idea what he was thinking.
I sighed. “I’ve spent the last two years trying to deal with the loss of our baby, the loss of our marriage, and the guilt of causing both.”
“What?” Bishop asked in a barely there voice.
“I know I’m to blame, Bishop. It’s taken me a long time to stop blaming myself for the baby, but losing you was my fault.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Abby. None of it was.”
Tears pricked at the back of my eyes. It was wrong, but I was so tired of arguing.
Bishop pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me tightly. “I never once blamed you for the baby. And I can’t imagine the fear you felt when I said we should try again. I’m so sorry, Abby. I don’t care if you never want to try again. All I want is you.”
Warmth radiated throughout my entire body at his words. I ran my finger along his perfect jawline and whispered, “I want to have a baby.”
He winked and flashed me that crooked smile of his. “I hope with me.”
I lightly chuckled and placed my hand on the side of his face. “Yes, with you.”
Bishop chuckled back. “Callie is going to kick my ass.”
I frowned.
“She’s my therapist. I told her you were coming over here today, and she told me not to sleep with you.”
My eyes went wide. “Oh, oops.”
Bishop laughed again.
I chewed nervously on my lip. “How do we do this? I mean, do we date?”
Bishop’s eyes met mine. “I love you, Abby. I’ve never stopped loving you. I wish, just as much as you do, that I could go back and change the past two years. The things I did, said, felt…but I can’t. All I can do is try to make it up to you and show you every day that you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. Ever wanted.”
I pressed my fingers to his lips. “Stop. We both agreed that we’ve made mistakes and that the past is the past. I want to look forward to the future, and if I’m lucky enough to have you back, then that’s all I care about, Bishop. You are all I care about. I love you so much.”
Cupping my cheek in his hand, Bishop kissed me. In that one kiss, I felt all the bitterness that we’d both carried over the last two years melt. All the regrets, pain, anger, sadness. That one kiss wiped it all away.