Tears streamed down her face while I spoke. Something inside of me broke, and I couldn’t stop the words from pouring out.
“Cruel is having the only woman you’ve ever loved leave you and divorce you for no fucking reason. Cruel is calling and texting and begging for some sort of explanation, only to have you tell me you can’t talk, or start crying and still not give me any goddamn answers! Don’t talk to me about being cruel, Abby!”
Her hand flew to her mouth as she tried to hold back her sobs. After a few moments, she took in a few shaky breaths. “I know…I know I hurt you, and I’m so sorry, Bishop. God, I’m so sorry! I never meant to hurt you so much. I was just…I was so scared and confused. It was a mistake, I know that. I’m so sorry I left!”
“Your sorry is a little too late, Abby.” Her head snapped up and our eyes met. God, I had the urge to pull her to me, even though I wanted to push her out the door at the same time. I sighed deeply. “You don’t have to feel guilty, Abs. Go on back to whoever you’re with now and just forget about me and Boggy Creek.”
More hurt spread over her face. “I’m not with anyone, and I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
Her unexpected confession caused me to stagger back a few steps. I tried to speak, but it felt like someone had punched me in the throat, the chest, and the stomach all at the same fucking time. I couldn’t breathe; my heart felt like someone had reached in and pulled it out, and I suddenly wanted to throw up.
“You…you haven’t dated anyone?” I asked, sounding as confused as I felt.
She swallowed hard. “I tried a couple times to go out on a date, but it never amounted to a second one or anything else.”
My curiosity got the better of me. “Why not?”
Those hazel eyes of hers looked like warmed honey mixed with the soft shades of spring. I could almost see the gold flecks from where I stood as I waited for her answer.
With her gaze never once leaving mine, she whispered, “Because I’m in love with you. I never stopped loving you.”
I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to breathe.
“Bishop, I, um…I wanted to talk to you…I mean, tell you why I left and how I wasn’t—”
“No,” I said with as much disdain as I could muster.
Abby looked confused. “No?”
I stared directly into her eyes. “I can’t do this thing—” I motioned between us. “Whatever it is. If you’re back in Boggy Creek to make amends so you can move on with your life…”
“Bishop, I’m not—”
“I’ve got work to do, Abby. You know how busy this time of year gets.” I was done with this conversation.
She nodded. “O-okay. Maybe we could meet for dinner tonight?”
The words were out of my mouth before I could even stop them. “I’m having dinner with Jax tonight at her place.”
The look of hurt that crossed over Abby’s face nearly brought me to my fucking knees. My words were meant to hurt her, and I had succeeded. In doing so, I felt like the biggest asshole on Earth.
With a slow nod, Abby looked around the house and rubbed her fingers over her lips. When she finally looked back at me, I could see tears building again in those beautiful eyes I’d once gotten so lost in.
If I wasn’t careful, I’d lose myself in them again.
She cleared her throat quietly. “I’m sorry to have bothered you, Bishop. And…just so you know…I’ve moved back to Boggy Creek for good.”
When I didn’t say anything, she turned and headed out of the kitchen and through the house. I balled my fists up tightly as I forced myself to stay exactly where I was, letting her walk away from me.
The click of the front door drifted softly through the house, and I finally let out a breath.
I picked up my beer bottle and threw it down against the floor. I stumbled back and hit a wall, slowly sliding down until my ass hit the ground.
I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, staring at nothing. My mind replayed everything that had happened moments ago. Or had it been hours ago? It felt like I had been on the floor for an eternity.
Dropping my head back against the wall, I took in a long, deep breath and then slowly let it out. The only thing I kept seeing was that look on Abby’s face. I’d wanted so desperately to hurt her like she had hurt me. In my mind, I’d always thought I’d feel better if I ever got the chance to make her feel a little of what I’d felt for the past two years. How fucking wrong I’d been.