Entity is more of a loose, catchall term, really. These were the super supernaturals, not just common creatures that lived on terra firma. Entities, in most cases, held their domiciles in separate dimensions, whether that was heaven, hell, or somewhere tethered to the earth itself. So yes: angels, demons, ancient gods? Dial the right number, and you get to meet with the right person, or talking animal, or floating mass of eyes and tentacles.
And your problem could be practically anything. Maybe, as in our case, you really need a healthy injection of information that isn’t normally privy to us, the unwashed masses stuck suffering on this hovering clump o
f dirt we call home. You might want an artifact or special spell for some extremely dangerous and extremely specific purpose. Come to the right entity with the right problem and you could walk away with knowledge, power, riches beyond understanding.
The real problem of coming to an entity with a problem was, of course, that they would always want something in return.
“So death gods are definitely out of the question,” Gil said, huffing as he negotiated the walk over to the porch. “Seriously, one of you assholes could have unlocked the door for me.”
“But you’re so big and strong,” I droned. Gil tilted his head, his ears pricking up reflexively, like a puppy being told he’s a good boy. “Yeah. No death gods.”
“Maybe we need to talk to someone a little more local. Someone who’s used to these woods.” Asher cupped his chin, his eyes gazing up at the night sky as the gears in his head turned. “What are your thoughts on getting in touch with Gaia?”
20
If I’d been drinking something when Asher made his suggestion, I would have spat it right in his face. Not on purpose, either. You wanted someone local, and you were going to try and tap the mother of Greek mythology for help? No question that Gaia knew what was up. She wasn’t just in touch with the earth. She was the earth. Not just local, but literally global.
“Please, could we not think a little smaller, here?” I said, pinching my fingers. “Just a teensy bit smaller. Not a progenitor of an entire pantheon.”
Asher shrugged. “I was just throwing out names, is all. And if we’re talking locals and progenitors, the All-father is right on top of that list.”
Gil came back huffing, a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. “You bastards really didn’t help at all, huh? And no. I don’t like the idea of calling on Odin at all. The man’s out on some drunken cross-country road trip. If you want to call him back from a Wild Hunt, be my guest.”
“Again,” Asher said. “Just a suggestion. Fine. I’ll stop bringing up pantheon mothers and fathers. No, you know what? I’ll stop naming anybody at all if you guys think you know so much better.”
“Don’t be sulky,” I said, draping an arm across his shoulders. Asher shrugged and harrumphed, but he didn’t shake me off. “All we’re saying is that we have to scale down here. Do you really think you’re powerful enough to dazzle a god of their caliber? I mean, I’m full of myself, but come on.”
“Excuse you.” He shrugged again, this time throwing my arm off his shoulders. “I am charming and delightful.”
“Well, you’re going to have to charm and delight someone a little closer to home,” Gil said. “A forest entity. What about, I don’t know, someone like Pan?”
I nodded, pursing my lips in approval. “Not a bad idea. Goat man? Sounds sexy. I’m into it.”
“Yeah, Pan sounds good.” Asher shook his head, glaring at me. “But don’t you go flirting with him. We’ve got enough problems without you trying to rub up against every single person we’ve met.”
“Whoa. Whoa, now.” I lifted my hands up, eyes wide in hyperbolic offense. “Our friendship would be a whole lot smoother if everyone wasn’t constantly trying to slut-shame me.”
Gil lowered his eyes and shook his head. “It’s a miracle he didn’t start humping Uriah’s monument on sight, honestly.”
“I’m right here, you jerks. Whatever. So what do we need to summon Pan?”
“On it,” Asher said, scrolling through his phone. “Pan, Pan. Satyr, god of the wilds and lust and drinking, etcetera. There. Huh. Well, this is vague. Says here that Pan is attracted by an offering of nature’s bounty.”
The two of us slowly craned our necks in Gil’s direction. He blinked at us, then scowled.
“Oh, no. You bastards. No way I’m carrying all that stupid fruit out into the middle of the forest.”
“We’re not asking you to,” I said sweetly.
“Yeah, Gil,” Asher cooed. “We just need you to put together a fruit basket.”
He threw up his hands and roared in frustration. “So I’m suddenly the gopher now? Why am I carrying shit and making fruit baskets?”
“Because you’re so good at it,” Asher said, batting his eyelashes.
“So good,” I repeated. “You know, I think I saw an old wicker basket in the kitchen. You can dust that off, put some fruit in it. And the basket would look extra nice if it had some wild flowers and mushrooms in it, too.”
“You’re both assholes,” Gil said, stomping off into the forest, clearly annoyed but obviously slightly tickled about being seen as so competent and useful.