I walk out of the gaping hole the Prospects will board with plywood once Stone gives the order and duck under the tape.
She cups my face, “Are you okay?”
I cover them with my hands and nod. “I’m whole, B.”
“I haven’t been that terrified in a long time. I thought about what I’d do if you were gone.” She shakes her head.
“But I’m not going anywhere.”
Her body shakes.
“Man, you’re really freaked aren’t you?”
She tilts her head back and meets my gaze. “I’m going to say something, and you don’t have to say it back. I just. I need you to know. Life’s insane, and I can’t have something happen to one of us and you not know that I love you.”
My tongue sticks to the roof of my tongue, and I stare down at the woman who’s dropped the equivalent of an A-bomb on me. I’ve never said those words to another human that I can recall or had them say them to me. I stumble back from her. Her face falls.
“No. No. Don’t do that. I just.” I run my hand through my hairs.
“You’re tired, you’ve been through a lot, and it’s late. I don’t expect anything from you, Jagger. There’s no right or wrong response. I-I’m sorry if I freaked you out. This admission was for me.”
“I don’t. You can’t just say that and expect me to.” It’s like my brain is short circuiting. I take a step toward her and a step back. I want to hold her and go for a long ride at the same time. I need to think.
“I didn’t think it would upset you.”
“I. I don’t know what I am. You know my past.” I grit my teeth. “No one’s every said that to me that I can remember.”
Her eyes widen.
“I’m sorry, B. I just. I need to go.” I want to slam my hand into a wall and destroy things. I don’t want to set her off with my rage.
She nods her head sadly, and I spin on my heel, only to turn back. “Let me walk to your car.”
“I can get there just fine on my own.” Her edgy tone scraps my raw nerves.
“Now ain’t the time, B.” I grab her arm and steer her toward the SUV I see a few blocks down.
“The time to what? Have emotions, Freeze.”
The use of my road name infuriates me.
“Freeze? I do one thing you don’t like, and you’re already taking back what you said.”
“No, I’m not. You’re turning into someone I don’t know right before my eyes.”
“I told you this would happen.”
She shakes her head. “Only if you let it. You’re choosing to run. I’m not casting you out, or demanding what you’re not ready to give
.”
“Right. Like you aren’t upset.”
“That your answer is to run from our first disagreement? Yeah, that pisses me off.”
“I’m not running.”
“Then what are you doing?”