She gave him a wistful smile. “I know you, Antonio. Of course you don’t want to raise a baby. I only told you about the pregnancy because it was the right thing to do. But I know you’re not interested in becoming a husband or father.”
“Oh.” He blinked, then continued awkwardly, “I will of course pay child support. And give you a large settlement to provide for the baby—”
“I don’t want your money.” It was exactly what she’d expected, so why did she feel hurt? Of course he’d offer her money for her baby. What else could he give? His time? His love? She said thickly, “We’ll be fine.”
He frowned. “But of course you will have a settlement. You deserve it. You earned it.”
“Earned it how?” Her pride suddenly flared. “On my back in your bed?”
He scowled at her. “I didn’t mean it that way—”
“I know,” she cut him off. She’d been rude. But her heart was aching as she thought how different it should have been, sharing the joy of her pregnancy news. How happy and sweet today would have been, if she’d just taken her grandmother’s advice and waited for marriage! If she’d waited until she’d found her true partner and home!
Swallowing, she looked across the beautiful cherry tree blooms against the wide blue sky. “You’ve paid me a very good salary, and I’ve saved most of it for the past year. Working and traveling so much, I had no time to spend it.” She lifted her chin. “That is what I’ve earned. And until I get a new job, the baby and I will be fine.”
“Hana, you’re being unreasonable.”
“It’s my choice. I don’t want your payoff money.”
“It’s not a payoff.”
“Of course it is.”
He ground his teeth. “What is it you want, Hana? Marriage? We both know that’s not going to happen.”
A low, bitter laugh came unbidden from her throat. “You think I want to marry you?” She shook her head. “It must be amazing to be you, Antonio, always confident that you’re the center of the world.”
“Come on, Hana. You’ve spent two years at my side. You know how I am.”
Yes, she did. She remembered all the women who’d tried so desperately to marry him over the last two years. How sorry she’d felt for them. She’d always been attracted to her boss, but she’d heeded the warnings. She would never love him. Her own parents’ intense, almost teenager-like relationship had soured her on the idea of romantic love anyway.
Besides, it was bad enough that, as his employee, she’d based the last two years of her life entirely around Antonio’s needs. She’d traveled when he traveled, lived where he lived, worked when he worked. The opposite of the life she actually wanted.
Since her rootless childhood, Hana had yearned for a real home. But when her beloved grandmother had become sick, Hana had dropped out of college. Desperate to provide Sachiko with the comfort and care of the best medical facility, she’d gotten a job. Giving up her own dreams, she’d taken increasingly demanding, high-paying secretarial jobs requiring her to travel constantly around the world.
Her grandmother had died a year ago. Hana could have quit her job then. But she hadn’t.
Because as challenging as it was to work for Antonio, she’d come to love it. Somehow, his house in Madrid had become like home.
It shouldn’t have felt that way. With all their traveling, they only lived there part-time. And though she’d become friends with the house staff, the palace still wasn’t exactly homey, but ridiculously big with a ballroom and vast echoing hallways.
And yet, two months ago, when Antonio announced out of the blue he was going to sell the Madrid house and move the company’s headquarters to New York, she’d felt a pain in her heart she hadn’t expected. “Time to move on,” he’d told her casually as he looked around the home offi
ce where they’d spent untold hours together. He’d shrugged. “There’s nothing I care about in Madrid anymore.”
A few hours later, he’d been astonished to find her crying in the palacio’s hallway. Shocked, he’d demanded to know the reason. But how could Hana explain, when she didn’t understand it herself?
She had no claim on his house in Madrid. Just as she had no claim on Antonio.
It was time for her to go, she’d realized. To quit her job and move on, so she could finally find a home that no one could ever take from her.
But even as she’d had the thought, she’d suddenly lifted up on her tiptoes and kissed him. With an intake of breath, he’d stared at her. Then he’d grabbed her and kissed her back with passionate need.
Leading to her pregnancy now.
She never should have let herself trade their professional relationship for a personal one. Their argument this morning notwithstanding, Antonio had always treated Hana with respect far greater than he gave his mistresses. If anything, he seemed to enjoy treating his girlfriends badly. Almost as if he wanted them to leave him as soon as possible.
She’d felt such great pity for his last mistress, a beautiful Instagram fitness model who’d clung to him in the face of all his rudeness, that Hana had actually arranged a Christmas gift for the girl, a rare vintage camera. She’d signed Antonio’s name to the card. As his secretary, Hana figured it was her job to try to make it at least appear that Antonio had normal human feelings—her job to make him look good, or at least less bad.