“Don’t,” Jaxon said softly.
Adalasia wasn’t going to pretend she didn’t understand. “I know I’m being silly. It’s just that Sandu is such a beautiful man. He could have anyone. I don’t really understand why he’s attracted to me.” She didn’t. She knew the legend in her family, but it didn’t make sense that the man was as gorgeous as Sandu. She had believed . . . now she didn’t. Or at least she no longer trusted in that fairytale.
“He can’t actually have anyone else,” Jaxon said. “He can only see you. He can only want you. He’s only attracted to you. And when I say ‘attracted,’ I mean passionately attracted. It’s intense. All the time. Never goes away. He won’t stray and he won’t look at other women. It would be impossible for him to do that. You’re his lifemate. You hold the other half of his soul. Did he speak the ritual binding words to you?”
Jaxon sank into the chair opposite Adalasia’s and waved her hand to rid the library of all the others. An antique table edged in gold appeared beside Adalasia’s chair. On it were a bottle of water and a glass of juice. “The juice always helped me in the beginning. Try that and see if you can get it down.”
“Yes, he did,” Adalasia admitted, a touch of bitterness in her voice. She couldn’t help it, even though she didn’t want to discuss her business with a complete stranger. In a way, even that felt like a betrayal of Sandu, when she didn’t owe him anything. Not when they weren’t partners.
Jaxon’s eyebrow shot up, and then she sighed. “He didn’t have your consent, did he?”
Adalasia shook her head. “No, he most certainly did not. He took my blood, too, without my consent.”
“Did you feel the binding when he said the words to you?”
She nodded. “I know we’re connected.” She heard the hesitation. Knew Jaxon heard it as well. “He keeps saying things that I don’t understand. And he’s not telling me things I’m very aware he doesn’t want me to know right now. He doesn’t have one bit of remorse for binding us together. Or for taking my blood. He did something else, didn’t he?”
She kept her gaze steady on Jaxon’s face. On her eyes. On her expression. She was adept at reading people. She had to be in her profession. She was always careful when reading tarot cards for people. They always said they wanted an honest reading, but there were times when honesty wasn’t what anyone was really prepared for. She couldn’t tell a mother her child wasn’t going to live through a devastating illness, not when the parents had come to her desperate to hear differently. She did her best to prepare them, but she wouldn’t come out and read the absolute grim reality.
There were so many instances when her intuition told her to walk softly. She always listened to that. She also watched for telltale signs the body gave. Right now, Jaxon was in the position Adalasia found herself in often—debating how much truth to give her.
Adalasia lifted her chin. “I’m tough, Jaxon. I might get shocked, but I’m tough.”
“That isn’t the question. I was tough,” Jaxon confessed. “Beyond tough. I still went down for a brief time.”
Her stomach knotted all over again. She pressed her hand there. Tight. What could possibly be so bad?
Do you have need of me? There are plenty of hunters. I like to keep my hand in, but it is not necessary. I will return to you, ewal emninumam. You have only to use our connection at any time, and I will come to you.
When Sandu poured into her mind like that, she welcomed him. She had realized how alone she felt even with Jaxon in the room. He gave her warmth and made her feel safe in an unfamiliar situation. She hadn’t realized until that moment how much the sharing of one’s mind could make one feel so close.
I’m fine. Getting to know Jaxon, she reassured him.
“Sandu explained to me that he is not a vampire but rather a Carpathian. He said he survives on blood but doesn’t kill when taking blood.” She needed confirmation. She didn’t know why. Had she grown so mistrustful of Sandu simply because he’d bound them together without her consent?
Adalasia rubbed her temples, frowning. It was more than that. He was keeping something extremely important from her. She knew he was, but she was just as guilty. She couldn’t exactly condemn him when she was doing the same thing.
“If one kills while taking blood, they would be giving up their soul and choosing to become vampire,” Jaxon said.
Jaxon wasn’t exactly volunteering information. Adalasia didn’t blame her. She wouldn’t want to be in her shoes, maybe accidentally saying something that would send Adalasia running from her lifemate. Jaxon could see she wasn’t as enamored with him as she should be—or at least she was still at a crossroads.