She’s repulsed by me.
I drop my hands instantly and step back from her. Her lips are wet, swollen, and red. Her eyes are glassy and looking back at me with desire. But even seeing all that, I know I need to walk away. I’m not going to push myself on her.
I leave without a word, tromping down the stairs and out the back door to go chop wood. I have to do something to get out my frustrations, and wielding an ax is going to do it. I remind myself for the hundredth time, This marriage isn’t real, it’s just business.
But even as I mutter it under my breath, I can’t tamp down the thought that maybe we could make it real.
Mia
I stand in his bedroom—our bedroom—with my hands to my lips and watch him walk away. When he was kissing me, I was trying to pull away to tell him that I wanted to freshen up, but he was out the door before I could. My body is humming, alive with need, and I’m mentally kicking myself for not just going for it with him. It’s what I wanted. And by the way he held me in his arms, I know it’s what he wanted too.
I go to the window and watch as he walks out of the house and instantly grabs a piece of wood, holding an ax over his head and then bringing it down to split the wood in half.
I watch him in awe. Even from this angle, I can tell he is mad. At me or himself, I’m not sure, but I know that I could stand here and watch him all day.
Like a peeping Tom, I watch as he repeats the process over and over. When he tugs his shirt over his head and tosses it to the ground, I gasp loudly, the sound echoing in the room. His muscled chest is formed perfectly. Every muscle stretches in his arms and taut stomach as he swings the ax over and over. He’s like a man on a mission, not willing to be deterred. I could stand here and watch him for hours if I didn’t want to get caught. His arms, shoulders, and chest are covered in tattoos, and I wish I was closer to be able to see the designs.
My body is heated, and I start to fan my face. The sun is starting to set, and I wonder how much longer he will be out there. My body tingles, wanting him to be near again. I have to drag my eyes from him in the backyard. The next time, I’m going to be ready for him. I walk to the bathroom and start filling the large jet tub so I can shave my legs. Closing up my lease and packing in under a week left little time for me to do much else before I left for Montana.
7
Mason
After taking my aggression out with the ax, I go back inside and carry Mia’s remaining bags upstairs. Setting them in the corner, I hear her taking a bath. I stand outside the door for just a second, but it’s enough for me to imagine the water trickling down her body, and I discover my time with the ax has been wasted. Already I can feel my body reacting to her even though I can’t see her or touch her. I’d give anything to be able to walk into where she is and take her into my arms. It’s like a magnetic force drawing me in. The urge is so strong I have to literally force myself to be strong and walk away.
Since I’m sweaty from chopping wood, I go to take a shower in the other bathroom in the hall. Instead of hot, I turn the knob to its coldest setting and stand under the spray, leaning back and letting the cold blast of water hit me right in the face. I don’t know if I want it to be a wake-up call or for it to bring me back to my senses, but I know I need some kind of jolt. With my head held back and eyes closed, I try not to think of anything. Especially my wife that is on the other side of the wall, sitting naked in her bath, running a sponge up and down her curvy body. My eyes pop open at the image, and a groan escapes me. There’s no use. Already, in one afternoon, I’m obsessed. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We got married to save Snow Valley. I had hoped for contentment or at the very least friendship. I wasn’t expecting or even ready for this attraction that has taken hold of me as if it’s squeezing the breath out of me. I am one hundred percent attracted to my wife. But remembering how she tensed in my arms earlier is a reminder that maybe she’s not as attracted to me as I am to her.