He nodded. “I didn’t want to disappear on you. But I didn’t want to make things worse either. And then I felt guilty for all of it, and it was just a fucking mess.”
“I know.”
“We’ll handle things together from now on,” he said. “I’m going to keep seeing the therapist and keep on top of any of this shit.”
“Good.”
“And I know moving is a pain in the ass. But I figure, if you want, we can keep this place. Buy another lot of whatever we need and have it all ready to go at the new place. Wherever that winds up being.” His fingers tapped a beat against his leg. “All of the money’s got to be useful for something, right?”
I nodded and relaxed back against the couch. Deep, even breaths. We were going to be okay. “And it’s not like anyone else would want to live next to Mal.”
“That’s very true.” His smile came more quickly this time. Seemed more normal. The stiffness in his body seemed to also be slowly easing. “She talked about support groups for new parents. But given how well known we are and everything, it didn’t seem like a good idea.”
“That would be a big risk.”
“Enough of our life gets splashed across the Internet.”
“Agreed.”
He slumped back in the seat.
“Are things okay with Jimmy?”
“I apologized for being an ass. He said he regretted having to punch me, but it was for the greater good.”
I snorted. “That sounds like your brother.”
“Yeah.” He gave a slight smile and then sobered. His focus entirely aimed at me. “I was an ass, Ev. To Jimmy, yeah, but most of all, to you. And our son. I missed time with you both. I made you worry. And I was so up in my head, I hurt you. The last thing I’d ever want to do. I’m sorry, baby. I need you, now and always. I need you both. Will you forgive me?”
And if I could have nuked the beautiful heavy wooden coffee table out of existence, I would have. But instead, I got up and walked around it and climbed into David’s lap. A place I’d needed to be for quite some time now. “I need some serious cuddling.”
“That would be great.” He wrapped his arms tight around me.
I rested my head against his shoulder and breathed in the warmth and familiar scent of his skin. Because it was totally okay to hide from the world with my husband for a minute. We were together. We were good.
“Are you crying?” he asked, tone bewildered.
“Hush.” I slapped a hand over his mouth. “Like I said, these last few days have been a lot. And then there’s the hormones. Crying is like my hobby now.”
With care, he removed my hand and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Love you, baby. We’re going to get through this.”
“We will,” I agreed, sniffling. “We definitely will.”
Chapter Five
“Do we really need a heli-pad and a cigar room?” I asked, sipping on an OJ.
David sat strumming his guitar with our son lying beside him on a rug. And the baby was staring at him (or the general vicinity from where the sounds were coming) with wonder. It was gorgeous to see.
The last few weeks had been a bit easier going. With Jude helping and David and I both going to therapy, life was calmer. He was now one hundred and ten percent committed to our family. We talked a lot and hugged a lot and generally made more of an effort with each other and our small family. I was even getting better at putting the baby to sleep. My swaddling skills were second to none. I’d also started working out how to express milk so I could go into work for a few hours now and then to deal with any big issues. Also to feel like I did still have a life outside the home if I wanted one. Energy levels permitting, of course. Fortunately for all, the café had excellent staff. And lining up some houses to look at next week with a real estate agent was kind of fun. Much more fun than talking about diapers and so on. Moving was big, but I thought we could work it out so things went smoothly.
Mal scrolled through properties on his cell. “Are you crazy? You definitely need a cigar room.”
I gave him a look most skeptical.
“If you two are going to abandon me, you’ve got to make it worth it.”
“I wonder if this is really all about you,” said Anne, tone contemplative.
“Pumpkin.” He shook his head. “That is not being supportive.”
We were hanging out at Lena and Jimmy’s house for a change of pace. Apart from medical appointments, it was the first real outing we’d attempted. Leaving the apartment for a while was great. Even if we did bring everything including the kitchen sink. The contents of the baby bag covered all seasons and weather eventualities and the baby’s next four stages of development. Roughly. It was nice to get almost everyone together. Ben, Liz, and Gibby were currently vacationing in Fiji. Lucky them.