Rocco’s dark eyes flash through my mind and I remember the whispers in the courtroom. Some saying Gabe got what was coming to him but they still thought Rocco was scary. That he’d gone too far.
I didn’t see it, no matter how long I started at him. He wouldn’t glance my way, but I didn’t see a scary man when I looked at him. All I saw was an enormous guardian angel who saved me that day.
I need to see him so I can talk to him. Maybe that’s selfish of me, but I feel that I have to explain to him how thankful I am that he saved me and how wrong it is he’s in jail. Maybe I could write him a letter and ask him to grant my request to come there.
I wipe away the tears that fall and I know I won’t stop reaching out to him until he lets me face him. Who knows what would have been left of me by the time Gabe was finished?
Rocco may not have felt the same thing I did that day when his eyes locked with mine, but I have to try. I don’t care how long his sentence is, I’ll wait forever for him if he’ll let me.
Chapter 4
Rocco
It’s been a week since I turned down her request to see me and I still haven’t gotten over it. I can’t look into those eyes that saw straight through me while I’m behind bars. I’m sure she just wants to say something about saving her or thanking me and I don’t need to look at her to know that. I’m not strong enough to see her and walk back into my cell. Could any man?
She’s always on my mind in everything thing I do. I’ve done all I can from the inside to take care of things for her, and I have to just know that’s what I can control. Thoughts of things happening to her while I can’t keep my eyes on her plague me when I go to sleep at night. That’s when I wonder if I’ve made all of this up in my mind and it’s more than she thinks it was.
That’s all I need, me tripping over myself like a fool while she looks at me in disgust. That’s why I had to turn down the request for a visit. I don’t need the disappointment while I’m locked up. It will only eat at me for as long as I’m in here.
I’m allowed an hour a day outside and I usually spend it walking the perimeter of the fence. I want to stretch my legs and walk as much as I can before I go back into my cell. The sun is out today and I take my shirt off while I walk. That’s one thing I liked about working construction. On the days when we were down a man, I’d haul lumber or hammer in a roof. I liked being outside with the sun on my back and feeling like I earned what I made that day.
Some of the guys in the yard watch me as I do my laps, but my size and overall appearance keep them from approaching me. It won’t last long, but I’m glad to have the peace and quiet for now.
The alarm sounds when the hour is over and we have to line up to go back inside. I’m not ready to leave but I have no choice and I pull my shirt on before I’m led back to my cell.
When the door slams shut behind me and the locks engage, I turn around and face my cot and see that there’s something on it. It’s a small white envelope with cursive writing on the front of it.
I walk over and pick it up and see it’s a letter from Lizzy. My hand shakes so badly I drop it back onto my threadbare blanket and take a small step back. That’s all the room I have to get away from it before I’m hitting a wall.
I don’t know how long I stand there and stare at it before it gets the better of me and I sit down on the bed and open it up. I almost tear the thing in half with my clumsy hands. I’m like a bear trying to fold tissue paper, but eventually I get it.
My eyes scan the paper and I see her beautiful penmanship. She writes like a princess and I lie back on my cot to soak in every word.
Dear Rocco,
I sent you a request to come see you but I never heard back. It’s hard to know if you got the request or you rejected it. Either way, I thought maybe this might be the better solution for now, at least until I can see you in person and say what it is that’s been on my heart the past weeks.