She leaned her head on his shoulder. “What if I’d just wanted a good cry?”
Jack grunted. “I screwed up. You wanted comfort and I gave you a pep rally. I’m the one out of my depth. We’re going to need a sign, headline type, so I know when you want a lover, not a workmate. Blink three times, ring a bell. Straight out tell me to shut up.”
“We don’t need a sign.” He’d given her exactly what she needed. He’d treated her like a professional, a colleague, and tears weren’t a useful workplace strategy. “You got it right. I wanted to feel sorry for myself. I needed to hear what you said.”
“I got it right?” He shook his head. “It was an accident.”
“No, it wasn’t. You do right by me, Jackson Haley, and I think you’ll know what to do if I just need a good cry.”
“Too much faith in me. I’m a rank amateur at this being in love thing.”
Martha came out from the kitchen, merrowed, and went back into the kitchen.
“I got home just before you. Haven’t fed her.” Home—she’d called Jack’s place home. It was time to give notice on her shoebox, because she wanted to live with a man who had no difficulty telling her he loved her or giving her a pep talk or being concerned he was getting it right. “You’re rolling with the being in love thing. But how are you going to roll with Keepsafe?”
“Marah,” Martha said from the kitchen. She made it sound so much like hurry they both laughed.
Jack stood and drew her upright with him. “I’m going to take Bob Bix down. The deeper we dig, the more victims we find. It’s gross mismanagement, but I need to prove it was deliberate fraud and not an administrative mistake that can be corrected. It’s a story either way, but unless I get proof, it’s not the takedown I want it to be. I need more time.”
He looked less certain than he sounded, and Phil had kept telling Jack he was out of time. “Anything I can do to help?”
He took his glasses off and tossed them on his desk. He was done with talking about work. He caught her face between both hands. They’d never formally done the four-minute staring part of the experiment. They’d done deep eye contact naked and entwined, both of them finding a heady pulse beat in each other’s eyes. They’d done it sated and replete, telling stories that deserved the closest audience, but they’d never done it like this. Tired, hungry, after a day of stone, both of them disappointed at work, still trying to figure out what the rules for being in love were, with a demanding cat, merrowing and marhahing in the next room.
Jack looked into her spooky pale eyes and without words told her he admired her, wanted her, desired her, cared for her, loved her. He told her he was surprised and hopeful and concerned and tentative. That he didn’t want to break this new and lovely thing they were and was worried he wouldn’t know how to protect it. That he’d been lonely before they’d met, but never understood it, that he was grateful for the experiment that’d brought them together and helped him to see he could make a new home with her.
She looked into Jack’s brilliant blue eyes and told him without words he was the smartest, sexiest person she’d ever met, that no matter where she looked she wouldn’t find anyone she wanted to be with more, to share her life with more. She told him she was less afraid with him by her side, that she was more comfortable in her own skin, that she craved his hands and his lips and his body because it fitted to hers, excited hers. That she was a girl fresh off the farm and he had the stink of the city in his blood, but that when they were together they were sunshine and birdsong, all the things she needed to be happy.
She looked into Jack’s brilliant blue eyes and saw that it didn’t matter if she screwed up at work, or ugly cried or argued with him, or was too bloated to want sex, or had bad hair or put on weight, or got irritated at women who propositioned him in markets. He was the one for her. She looked into Jack’s eyes and her own filled with tears, because the feelings inside her had to find a way out or she’d explode.
He brushed a thumb across her cheek. “I’m not sure about these. Do they come from today or did I make you cry?”
She’d made herself cry, but in a good way. “Happy tears.” They spilled plentifully now, a stream of emotion.
He angled his head and repeated the words “happy tears” as if that was a foreign concept. “You’re sure?” He brushed another away.
“I’m the one crying them.”
“I’ve got two suggestions. I kiss those tears out of you or I sing the wiener song until all you feel is blinding rage.”
She chose the kisses. She’d always choose the kisses.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jack was all talk. He’d told Derelie he didn’t want to put a fist into Madden’s face when the guy went for her in the morning editorial meetings, but that was a fat, slimy toad of a lie. He wanted to knock Madden’s teeth in. He’d told Derelie she didn’t need to be defended and that was a shiny truth. She’d learn to manage their boss, but it didn’t mean Jack enjoyed witnessing Madden’s daily power trip.
Amongst the next day’s proposed lead stories was the teacher’s union strike and a cancer breakthrough. There was a piece on a shootout on the South Side, plus a story about a human head found in a bag in a Chinatown parking lot. Jack’s own story was on fraudulent bank accounts and how seniors were being ripped off by marketing schemes that skirted the law.
“What’s lifestyle got?” Madden said to Derelie. He’d left her till last as usual, when everyone was keen to get out of the meeting and on with the day.
“Feature on the new penguin exhibit at the Lincoln Zoo and the annual firefighter’s charity calendar shoot,” she said.
“That’s the best you’ve got for the day? Oiled up, half-naked firefighters and fucking penguins.”
“You don’t like firefighters or penguins?” said Spinoza. He made a “what gives?” gesture when Madden gave him a death glare. Spin had faced Madden’s ire earlier about a Cubs story Madden thought was soft on the team’s management.
“The new penguin exhibit cost millions and we’re the first to cover it,” Derelie said. “We’re exclusive on the firefighters too. We’ll have video of the shoot, plus a reader zoo pass giveaway.”
“And?” Madden barked.