By the time I get away from the she devil most of the group has gone back inside. Peyton is just about to go in when I grab her hand and pull her down toward the boathouse away from the house and prying eyes and ears.
“What are you doing?” She hisses.
“It’s time we had that talk, Fancy.”
“You’re right.” Her response surprises me. I was prepared for her to fight me on it like she has been these past few days.
I look around making sure no one has followed us. Once I feel certain that we’re really alone, I lead Peyton into the boathouse.
“Why are you acting so paranoid? Couldn’t we have talked back at the house?”
“Do you really trust that Harvey doesn’t have that whole house mic’d?”
Peyton rolls her eyes at me. “You do have a point.”
I grin. “Come on. Get in.” I point to the rowboat tied to the interior dock.
“I’m not going out on the lake with you in the middle of the night.”
“What’s the matter? You chicken?” I cluck at her like I used to when we were kids.
“How many people you think die a year by way of rowboat accidents?”
“Not many. You coming or not, Fancy?”
She smiles at me, reluctantly. “Fine, but if I get wet, you’re dead.”
“That?
??s not a promise I can make, we both know if I want you wet, sweetheart, I don’t need the water.”
“Ugh. You’re a pig,” she says on a groan, but she gets in the boat.
It’s a cloudless night and the moon is full and bright overhead. Frogs are croaking and crickets are chirping. There’s a gentle breeze but the air is still warm. Peyton is staring out at the water and anywhere but at me. That’s okay though because I’m not taking her back to land until we settle this shit between us for once and for all. Once we are far enough out that I am sure she can’t swim back, I stop rowing.
The moment I’ve been waiting for five damn years is finally here, and I can’t find the words to say what I need to. Though I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. “There are things you don’t know about that night. The night of the accident.” I can tell she is about to interrupt but I don’t let her. I take her hands in mine. “I need you to just sit and listen to what I have to say. You can give me that much, can’t you?”
“Okay. I’m all ears.”
“That night was the worst night of my life. I thought I had killed you, Peyton. I was unconscious for a few minutes, and when I came to…you weren’t breathing, and there was a man trying to do CPR on you. He was just some passerby. I thought I had lost you forever, but it turned out I was going to lose you no matter what. At the hospital, Barb was the first to arrive and she knew that we had both been drinking. She was making threats, and I was scared, but the worst part was…” I take a deep breath and bite back my tears. “We lost a baby. You were pregnant, and Barb said that the doctor couldn’t save you both.”
Peyton jerks her hands away. “What are you saying?” Confusion colors her features and she shakes her head. “The doctor said that I had a miscarriage. It sounds like you’re saying that Barb chose to terminate—they told me there was nothing that could be done.”
“I honestly don’t know. Barb made a lot of threats that night, and I didn’t want to go to jail and throw my life away. I know how selfish that sounds, but we were kids, and I was lost and scared. She wouldn’t let me see you or talk to you, so I left. I couldn’t pass up the recording contract. It was what I had always wanted, but it cost me greatly. It meant losing you, Peyton.”
“They told me you left, and I thought you didn’t want me anymore. I hated you for all of it. For the accident. For leaving me on my own to mourn the loss of my baby.”
“Our baby,” I correct her and take her hand in mine again. “I would have stood by you, Peyton. I would have done whatever it took to be with the two of you if things had been different.”
“I want to believe that’s true, Jameson. I really do, but what’s it all matter now anyway? I’ve seen your name in the magazines and online. I know what you have been doing. Or should I say who you were doing. A different girl every night according to some.”
“I can’t tell you I didn’t fuck around. That’d be a lie, but I can tell you a lot of it is exaggerated to sell records. It’s a persona, but it’s not me. I don’t want to be that guy anymore. I’m ready to come home to you. If you’ll have me.”
A shaky breath leaves her throat, and I can see the tears swelling in her eyes. “I…Jameson, that’s a lot of heavy on top of everything you just told me about Barb. Did my Dad know you think?”
“I don’t know. He was out of town. Who knows what the truth is? Did you miscarry or was Barb really that cruel and could she have gotten a doctor to perform the procedure? Maybe. She kept me from being charged with a DUI and going to jail. I don’t see your father having a part in that though I suppose it was possible. I wasn’t always his favorite person, but would he have hurt you like that?”
“No. He couldn’t have known,” she decides.