While Jameson takes a shower, I call my Nana and Pappy so they know I will be eating here.
When I get Nan on the phone, she tells me that Josh had been by asking for me. I don’t know what he could want. I've not spoken to him since we went to the scare fest last summer.
It was my birthday and right after Jameson had first kissed me. He hadn't asked me to be his girlfriend, but I guess he just assumed that kissing me made me his girlfriend.
My Pappy was driving us all in his van. On the way there Karson took it upon herself to sit next to Jameson, leaving me the only choice to sit in the next row with Josh.
Josh thought it was the perfect opportunity to hold my hand and Karson had her own ideas and plans for Jameson. I kept finding reasons to slip my hand away from Josh’s, but not wanting to make it awkward, we hadn’t even gotten to our destination yet. I kept noticing Jameson wiggling in his seat, and eventually he ended up shoved up against the window, pressing his nose to the glass like a dog. I'm sure that if he could have got away with it, he would've stuck his head out the window like a dog too, just to get further away from her.
The rest of the ride was quiet and awkward.
When Pappy finally dropped us off and pulled away, Jameson slammed Josh to a tree and told him to keep his hands to himself. Then he told Karson if she put her hands on him again, he’d tell everyone at school she had a dick. Needless to say, the rest of scare fest was spent with me and Jameson on one side of the tent while the two of them shared the other. When a chainsaw started up in the middle of the night Josh peed himself and yeah, we haven’t talked since.
Jameson joins me after taking a shower once Ruby Jane and I have set the table. Their Uncle Rodney comes in from work a few minutes later as we are all plating our fried chicken. I decide it’s probably best to wait on mentioning Josh until Jameson walks me home. I feel more at home here, with Thea and Rodney, than I do at my dad’s with Barb. She is so uptight. Rodney and Thea are laid back and go above and beyond to make me feel like I’m a part of their family. They even buy skim milk and keep it in the fridge for when I come over because it’s what I drink. Barb never buys it for me. Says I’m not there enough to be picky.
After dinner Jameson walks me home, and we joke around about the different ways we could die before we get there. It’s just out of habit now as where before I was obsessed. Jameson makes me want to think a lot more about living and experiencing life. Death has taken a backseat to my thoughts.
When we get to my doorway, Jameson pulls me in for a kiss. His mouth melts into mine, so tender and sweet. Then he says,” I thought of a name for the band.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“Jameson's Addiction, because I’m addicted to your kisses.”
I could die right here a very happy girl.
“It’s perfect,” I say as he cups my butt and sucks on my neck.
I forget all about Josh and Jameson and I spend ten minutes necking under the carport until Pappy turns the light on us and yells for me to get inside.
“You think anyone ever died from kissing?” Jameson asks breathily and I smile.
“I’ll let you know tomorrow—if I’m not dead.” I giggle and he shakes his head.
The Present
“Peyton,” Jameson whisper shouts my name snapping his fingers in my face.
I don’t remember getting up from the table and walking outside.
“Sorry.” I shake my head trying to return to the present.
He grabs my shoulders, his touch feeling too good, too familiar. “You don’t have to cancel your wedding, Fancy. I’ll get my people on it.” Jameson’s soothing voice and his intoxicating smell wraps around me. He’s too close.
“Please don’t…don’t act like you care about me. Don’t call me Fancy. I can’t handle it. It’s too much. You’re too much.” I wipe at my eyes trying to stop the tears. I don’t even know why I’m crying.
“If I could go back and change it all—Peyton, I’d do anything to go back and make things right.” Swiping his thumbs under my eyes, he leans in close. So close I’m afraid he is going to kiss me.
What’s more troubling is the fact that I wish he would.
So many nights I dreamed of him coming back for me. Coming back and telling me he was sorry, and he made a mistake. Telling me he chose me. That being with me was enough for him.
Warm, smelling of beer, his breath tickles my lips. He looks into my eyes and I still feel his kisses from so many years ago on my skin. Chill bumps pebble along my arms, and I know I should pull away…it’s just there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to.
I’m dumb. So damn stupid for this man and I don’t know why. I should run away screaming.
His finger brushing over my engagement ring snaps me out of the spell he was putting me under.
Pulling back from him, there is no way I can go along with this damn fucked up mess this company is trying to do too, this teen lovers reunited bullshit. There’s no way I can work next to Jameson either. He’s been here only a few days and already I am consumed with him and what we once shared.