As I drive away from the farm, I know I’ll never return. I take one last glance through my rearview mirror and say a silent farewell.
There are so many things I want to say to Jesus. None of them good. This all feels like a bad dream but the stinging pain slicing across my cheek tells me different.
How did we get here? There’s an ocean between us or there might as well be.
I get home and wash my face and brush my teeth. Slipping into my pajamas I get into bed and lay my head on the pillow, closing my eyes. I keep picturing Jesus in my head. How angry he was.
I never thought he’d behave like that. That he’d put his hands on me. That he’d try to force himself on me.
I can’t forgive that.
My tears fall and I know that tonight was goodbye.
I have to stay away for both of us.
Tonight wasn’t him or maybe tonight was his true colors.
Tonight was a little of heaven and hell.
Heaven in Diego’s kiss and hell in Jesus’ touch. My palm flattens against my cheek. The sting of his slap all too raw and fresh. I grab my phone from my nightstand and stare at Diego’s number, remembering how good he made me feel. Dancing with him. Kissing him. Climbing on the back of his black motorcycle. My arms around him…
I drift to sleep with good thoughts of the stranger I kissed in the dark playing on a loop in the recess of my mind.
Chapter 7
—Sybil
It’s been days since my fight with Jesus. Days since I had the best kiss of my life with Diego. He sent me a text message that night asking if I made it home okay. I guess he was worried about leaving me with Jesus. I didn’t tell him what happened. I feel partly to blame. And I get the feeling that Diego is the kind of guy who would go kick his ass because he can. I don’t want Jesus to hurt any more than he already is. I haven’t spoken to him and don’t plan to anytime soon. I think we both could use some space after everything—permanently. All I have for him are hard feelings that leave me feeling empty.
He keeps texting me with apologies but I’m not ready to forgive. I’m not sure I ever will be able to get past his actions.
No amount of I’m sorry can make up for his actions. He violated me and broke my trust. Jesus was my safe spot. The one person I thought I had in my corner. The one friend I could depend on no matter what.
I am so far removed from him now. I glare down at my screen and do what I should have done days ago and block his number.
Diego’s last message pops up.
I have been texting back and forth with him. He makes me smile and laugh.
D- Good morning, beautiful. What’s your day looking like? I’d like to see you again.
S- Busy. Lots of laundry and reading to catch up on for school.
D- You really gonna turn down all this for some chores?
Attached to his text is a picture of him laying back in his bed. The sheet is covering most of his body leaving me to imagine what’s underneath. I am still in bed myself and decide to have a little fun with him too. I snap a photo of myself using my selfie stick only I tease him more than he did me. I pull the sheet down and lay on my side, showing off my bare hip where I have a small ta
ttoo of a black heart. I hit send and wait.
D- Damn, girl. You don’t play fair.
I don’t reply right away. I need to get in the shower and get my day started. I want to let him sweat a bit. I can’t have him thinking I’m easy. I have known his type before. The kind who loves the thrill of the chase. I have dodged getting involved with guys like that in the past but there is something about Diego that has me thinking for him I would make an exception.
I shuffle through my day, getting caught up with my laundry and my final assignment for my business class. It’s my last assignment. Once I hit send on my business plan that’s it. I will be graduating. Then I will inherit my father’s company and deicide if I want to take my rightful place as CEO or leave it to Heath to continue to run in my place. He’s done a great job. Though there is Consuela, my step-monster to deal with. She’s been a thorn in my side since my father married her.
I can’t wait to see the expression on her face when I toss her out on her ass and take back everything my parents built together. The family home. The charities. It will all be mine in a few weeks’ time.
It’s getting late and I still haven’t responded to Diego. Speaking of the devil, a new text comes through from him.