“Lex.”
“I don’t want to hear it, James. I’m tired.”
“I fucked up. I know that. I was too caught up with the politics of the club and appearances. Seeing East and Wylla Mae and how it is between them…I have a fuck of a lot of regrets. I know we can’t go back. I hated myself for wanting you. Nearly destroyed me doing what I did back then.” I squeeze her hand.
“And yet you kept doing it.” One thick teardrop rolls down her cheek. I go to wipe it away. “Get out.”
“Lex, baby.”
“Don’t. You don’t get to come here nearly twenty years too late and say you care about me. You strung me along for years. All I ever wanted was to be good enough for you. It took me a long time to see that it was the other way around. I was so damn blind. So addicted to you. But not anymore. I’m done with that. I’ve wasted too much time chasing the wrong men hoping to experience an ounce of what I felt when I was with you. You’re the one not good enough for me.”
“Darlin’, I never wanted to hurt you. I was a selfish bastard who couldn’t let you go.”
“Then do it now. Let me go. Cut me loose.”
I move in, getting close to her face. Her breath fans over my lips. She holds my gaze. “Things will never be over between us, Lex. You’ll see. Things are different now.”
“Oh yeah. What makes them so damn different?”
“I almost lost you. I knew you’d never leave me. You’d always be there until the other day when I saw you loaded up in that ambulance and regret swept over me so hard and heavy, I thought I was drowning.”
“Yeah well. You can go home and rest easy. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“I always took care of you. When you’re released let me take you home. Let me be there for you.”
“Wylla Mae and East have me covered. We settled our differences you could say. It’s fitting that he’ll give her what I was too damn stupid to appreciate. East is an amazing man. Something you know nothing about.”
“Pretty girl.” I cup her face and she turns away from me when I try to kiss her. “I deserve that. I’m gonna let you get your rest, but this isn’t over, Lex.”
“You never could see me. You still don’t. Just you doing what you want. Taking and taking.”
“I see you, Lex.”
Her olive-green eyes cut to mine in narrowed slits, and I brush my lips against hers soft and slow, tasting the bitterness of her sadness.
“You need to leave.”
“I love you, Lex.”
“Fuck.” Her tears flow sporadically staining her hospital gown with her heartbreak. “You don’t know how to love anyone but yourself. You don’t love me. You never loved me or our child. You used me but that’s okay because I was using you too.”
“That’s fair, but you’re wrong. I’ve always loved you.”
“Right. I’m so sure. I’m tired, James.”
“Sleep tight. I’ll be back tomorrow.” I move off and leave her alone for now. Alexa can say she’s done with me till she turns blue in the face, but we both know she still loves me.
I take the elevator to the materni
ty ward where Lynn is. The nurse on duty is the Old Lady of Pipe. “Hey.” She buzzes me on in.
“Everything good?”
“Yup. Officer Castille should be knocked out for the next three or four hours at least.”
“Sweetness, you need anything you let me know and it’ll be yours.”
“Anything for the club. Cameras are down too. Take care of business.”